Tired of "top-notch" sales copy that sounds like a frickin' robot wrote it? Of course you are. You need copy that makes people's loins stir when they think of you and your product. Last time I checked, robots weren't sexy. As an NLP copywriter with a knack for turning words into money, I spit out long-form sales copy that whispers sweet nothings to your customers' hearts (and wallets). Whether you're a solopreneur looking to launch your first product or a frazzled business owner aiming to boost conversions, my copy seduces audiences into swooning, clicking, and buying. I have one job, to infuse your brand voice with NLP words that bypass the brain's logic to tap right into people's irrational desires.

I specialize in long-form sales content that turns lame tire-kickers into crazed stalkers (or "buyers" as we like to call them in marketing land). Landing pages, sales pages, product descriptions – if it sells, I'll write it.

You can't write copy that sells without knowing your audience inside-out. That's where I whip out the chianti, liver, and fava beans and settle down to analyze my prey. Do I make the creepy hissing noise? That's for me to know and your audience to find out!

NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) copywriting focuses on using our human needs, emotions, and desires to get sales. Purchasing is an emotional decision, not a logical one. My words connect to those emotions, boot out logic, and elicit a yearning - to buy your product, since its the only thing that will fill the newfound void in their life.

I want to make sure your copy is perfect, so I offer a free round of revisions with all my work. If I screw up, that's on me and that won't count. Just be aware that if I believe your revision will screw things up, I'm not shy about telling you so. I want you to succeed, not destroy your sales copy!

Got brand guidelines? Awesome, throw them my way and I will embody your brand's tone and writing style. Don't have one? I'll work with you to find a tone and writing style that will work for you (or more importantly, your audience. After all, you're not buying... are you?)

If you want me to write and set up your sales page and the whole darn funnel so you can sip pina coladas on the beach, that's cool. I can do that - and then I'll join you with a long, tall glass of whatever that hunk over there is having. Deal?

Want an expert eye watching the progress of your sales page and making tweaks to the copy to make sure your copy is delivering on its promise? Great idea! You can now go jetskiing with an impractical martini (definitely shaken) as I obsess over graphs, charts, numbers, and words so you don't have to.