I used to hate high-school.

Not the people, not the school, but I hated something about it.

I always felt there was something wrong that I was doing, and that people were doing too.

It felt suffocating and exhausting.

I spent those years not knowing the answer.

Trying to survive every day.

When I was in my last year of high-school, I finally realized what was wrong.

It sounds innocent, and it sounds right.

You can try to become a stronger version of yourself, or a smarter version of yourself.

It’s good to become someone, right?

Well, not exactly.

The way I saw things back then, and as social media was slowly taking over the world. People were not trying to be someone for themselves, but someone for other people.

I found myself trapped in these webs as well.

I was trying to become someone for people too, and by doing that, I was against my nature.

I was against my values, and my principles.

I was against myself.

That’s why I was so exhausted and so tired. The process of wearing a mask people would like to be liked and accepted by people.

After all, who would dare to be alone in high-school?

At that age, all you truly care about is to be popular, have popular friends, attract girls and have “something going on”.

That came to an end what I graduated.

Why?

Well, what I was afraid of the most ended up happening.

I found myself alone.

I moved cities, and I went to a university I didn’t know a soul in.

I started from scratch.

When I finally realized nobody cares what mask I wear, I felt some sense of freedom.

I knew it was finally the time for me to start becoming who I want.

That’s when I discovered I’m a writer.

But when I say things like this, it seems a little bit extreme.

There is a difference in being someone for others, and being someone for yourself.

A difference that, if you’re aware of it, can change your life.

Imagine you woke up one day without a single knowledge of who you are. You can’t even recognize the bed or the place you’re in.

You go downstairs and you meet someone, you look surprised, who is this person? Where are you?

You ask them who they are, and they start laughing.

You’re even more surprised now for their lack of decency.

After a while of arguing back-and-forth, you finally realize you don’t know who you are and you sit down unable to comprehend what’s going on.

That person realizes the gravity of your situation, and they sit down as well.

“Do you really don’t know who you are?” They start asking.

You shake your head in confusion.

“Who am I?”, you express sadly.

“Of course, we’ve been married for 5 years now”.

They go ahead and spend the next hour explaining how you’ve met in park where you both started the conversation about a book you’ve been reading, talking about how you’ve been a loving person, how you’ve been such a romantic, how you’ve been a wonderful partner. They talk about how you had some issues recently and how you’re taking some classes to learn public speaking and how to show confidence.

They talk about how you used to study law in college, and how you used to love it and how you love your job.

Then your parents (that you don’t know yet) come in, you’ve invited them last week to come to dinner.

They come to the surprise that you lost your memory and you don’t recognize them anymore.

You ask them

They start talking about you’ve been growing up. You’ve been always loud and always wanted to let people know what you think, and you always had confidence even when you were a kid. You used to talk a lot in public spaces and you didn’t worry if people judged you or not.

They start talking about how you’re decided to join law school and how proud of you they were for graduating.

Your bestfriend then comes to join, your partner let him know of the situation.

He comes unable to believe you really lost your memory.

You sit with him alone, and you ask him.

He starts to talk about how you grew up together, how you almost got caught once stealing a few things from a store and how it’s been a funny story ever since. He talks about how you used to go to parties together and how you’ve been “the life of the party”.

He talks about how you’re always full of energy and ready to make the most of a day.

He also talks about how you used to hate law and you did it only because your parents asked you to, so you don’t disappoint them and you want them to be proud of you, but you’re thinking about changing careers and you invited them to tell them about it.

You then pause for a minute, and you ask yourself.

These people have given you different versions of who you truly are.

Your partner and your parents said you used to love law, but then your bestfriend says you want to change careers.

Your parents said you’re a loud and confident person, but your partner says you’re struggling a bit with public speaking and confidence.

Apparently, you’re someone different to every person.

You then wonder what the true version of you among the many versions that seems to exist in every person’s mind.

You then ask yourself once more.

…

This short story is to show how different many people see you, and if you were to be what everybody wants you to be or considers you to be, you’ll soon realize you can’t.

You can’t be someone for everyone.

You should instead be yourself and let everyone either accept it or reject it.

I only learned this after a while, but it stuck with me ever since.

I know I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect as well.

But if you spend your days being someone you’re not, just to please people.

You’ll soon regret it.

You even see yourself in a way that is different from how other people see you.

Two people seeing you differently means that there are two versions of you existing in their minds.

The question is, what are the things that are missing in each version of you?

One person could see as quiet, while the other as extroverted and outgoing.

Does that mean you are something without the other?

In reality, you are both.

You can be quiet for some people, and outgoing for some people.

Which means you are not what people think or say you are.

You could be seen as that quiet kid all your life for those distant people, but for your close friends, you could be an extrovert.

It’s a simple reality that many of us can’t fully accept.

Because there is always the need to belong, and we want to belong by being liked and seen by others.

If you’re somewhere where being popular is praised and looked at as some achievement and a sign of success. Then you’ll most likely see if you have any potential to be popular, but if you don’t, you’ll soon fall to the other side.

You might find people there, as you might not.

We’re always trying to fit in, even if that means we actively try not to. We might fit in psychologically, but that’s still trying to be someone for some people even if it’s online.

The reality that is never going to change is this: