Have you ever met someone and you were immediately impressed by the way they think?

If you are talking about society, they understand the different aspects of it.

If you are talking about love, they understand its beauty and the fact that everybody deserves it.

If you are talking about life, they know it is tough in a way very few people do.

Somehow, they say things that others often are afraid to say.

While the world is trying to find pleasure, they try to find truth, or at least, be aware of it.

You couldn’t help but describe them as mature.

You could also say they are older than they seem.

They think in a way that shows they have experience in life, only that they are perhaps younger than the things they say.

And when you describe them as mature, it means they have something that sets them apart.

Something they have that others don’t.

They know something, which affects their behavior in a way it makes them better, or think better.

Maturity is a trait very few people have.

Some people say they are mature, but in reality, it is just a word they use to get more attention.

So, how what are the real signs of a mature person, and are you one?

Maturity means you have gained enough knowledge in life that you are thinking in a certain way.

Part of that thinking resolves around morals.

A mature person has strong principles and values, and they often have a strong moral code by which they shape their life.

But, having those good values in general is not something hard.

You can google “best values to have” and they’ll give you things like forgiveness, courage, respect, integrity, etc.

Things that anybody can claim to have in a week.

But what truly sets a mature person with values from a person with values is that they choose to be hurt.

What does it mean?

Values are a way by which you think and behave.

If the core value in your life is about forgiveness, you’ll most likely forgive.

But would you still forgive if everybody hurts you?

Would you still forgive if what the other person does is unforgivable?

You see…

A mature person chooses the pain of being right, than the pleasure of being wrong. And we all know there are certain traits and behaviors that are rewarded with pleasure.

People are lying more, they are falling to hypocrisy. They don’t care about others and they certainly don’t bother being kind.

When a person sees theses things and decides to stay true to themselves and the values they believe in although they are constantly bringing them pain, that’s maturity.

They might believe in kindness, but all people around them do is try to take advantage of them or even judge them for being something the world is not.

“The world is cruel” they might say.

For a mature person, this only is an excuse to not be virtuous, and they know if the world is cruel, that doesn’t mean they have to.

It takes great courage to choose pain over pleasure just to be right.

Many people unfortunately don’t care about that level of self-awareness. All they care about is the next dopamine rush they could feel, which is sad.

They could have a better life by simply having better values and principles, but instead, they have chosen the path of hedonism.

One of a mature person’s values is empathy, not only because it feels good, but also because it’s right, and they understand the logic behind it.

When you tell someone have more empathy, the main question is why?

Why put yourself in the other person’s shoes?

Why bother trying to understand others when sometimes nobody is trying to understand you?

It took me a lot of time to figure this out, and a lot of knowledge and experience.

Empathy means trying to think what life is from the other person’s perspective, that’s a simple enough definition.

But what is the core foundation of empathy, is the part related to life.

Most people are too busy trying to overcome the difficulties in their lives that they forget other people have them as well.

And it sometimes comes from a place of revenge, they think that by not caring about others, they will achieve revenge but they won’t.

They feel entitled that their problems are bigger than anybody else’s and that they should understand them instead of them understanding others.

This is being selfish.

We all are to a certain degree, but here’s something to keep in mind.

Maturity is when you have enough problems to hate the world, but you choose to understand it instead.

Although they have problems as well, a mature person treats the world they wish to be treated.

They wish people were kind to them, they decide then to be kind to the world.

They wish people cared more, they decided to care more about the world.

Instead of expecting to be given something, they give it.

That’s maturity, and that’s beautiful if you ask me.

Having values and sticking to them means you know who you are and what you are not.

When society pressures you to be something you’re not, you reject it and decide to be true to yourself even if that means you’ll be alone.

As I said in the first sign, a mature person prefers the pain of being right, and that pain might be in the form of being alone.

A quick example is the change the dating market is currently undergoing. Many people are adopting the “live your life” mindset and forget about the “grow old” concept.

More and more people are leaving what is true and right simply because it is painful. They can’t bear being alone for a long time and so they decided to join the party.

They scarified who they really are for pleasure that will only poison them.

A mature person knows that growing old is the right path to choose, they understand that having one true loving partner is better than having hundreds of one night stands.

And if you claim to be mature but still having a one night stand every night, it’s maybe time to rethink your values.

As Jordan Peterson once said in a podcast I can’t unfortunately remember, people who choose one night stands are portraying forms of psychopathy.

It might seem harmless, but you’re destroying the concept of families and a caring society.

All you truly care about is pleasure. You don’t care about the other person, you simply want something out of them, which we all know what it is.

If you truly are a mature person, try not to have those one night stands, because being driven by pleasure is not mature.

Pleasure might tell you to hurt someone, it might tell you to ruin someone’s life.

Pleasure might ruin your life by telling you it’s okay to ruin someone else’s.

A mature person knows what the stakes of choosing one side over the other are, but they don’t care as long as it aligns with their values that they have spent considerable time building, improving, and honing.

Maturity is deciding to know who you are, sticking to it, and choosing to be right.

There are obviously more signs to maturity than these 3, but I have spent some time thinking about it.

I know most people have a hard life, and that stops them from thinking about anything other than to get out of that problem and solve it.

That’s why I think for them, and for you.

These signs are something I noticed in every mature person I know whether in real life or online.

They all share these 3 signs that I think are the most important, because they are hard to do.

It’s easier to say I am true to myself when you’re sitting comfortably watching. But it’s harder to say I am true to myself when you are somewhere where you’re extremely tempted to let go of yourself and “live your life”.

If you have those signs, it means you’re mature.

If you feel alone because you’re following your values and you’re choosing virtue over pleasure, you are mature.

Don’t let anybody tug you to the side of pleasure and wrongness.

Stay true to yourself, no matter what.