"Hearing vs. Listening" - Heroic Minds

Hearing Vs. Listening:

Hearing is when your brain psychologically processes the sounds of someone else speaking to you. On the other hand, listening is genuinely paying attention to what someone else is saying, caring about their point of view, and showing interest in the conversation. So if there’s only one hack in our lives that can be truly transformational is if we replace the practice of hearing with the practice of listening. Listening, like any other skill with practice, can be improved over time. Being a terrific listener benefits us in significant areas of our life. It remarkably enhances our relationships with our partners and friends. When we’re not actively listening to our partners or friends, they can sense the absence of our full attention. This can make them frustrated with us, leading to conflicts that ultimately negatively impact our relationships and mental well-being. Our relations deserve our full attention because we expect the same from them. Listening can affect one’s professional growth as well. The more actively we listen at work, the better we perform. For instance, if you were merely hearing at your work, you’d go to the morning meetings, be physically present, and only listen to the parts of the meeting relevant to your job. But if you were an avid listener, you’d go to your morning meetings, listen to every detail your boss is explaining, and you can volunteer for the charity event at the office. Your boss will be impressed with your initiative and keep you in mind while assigning future projects.

Put your devices entirely away. No one wants to hear the bing of your Snapchat notification while they talk to you about anything, serious or casual things.

Make firm eye contact. When someone is engaged in a conversation with you, making eye contact will show them that you’re actively listening to what they are saying and not distracted by any other thing

Body language can say a lot. You also listen to your body. So sitting comfortably with a straight back can show the other person how focused and committed you are to their conversation.

Little verbal and non-verbal cues can go a long way. Nodding your heading a few times during the conversation will reassure the speaker that you’re interested and understanding everything. And a few “hmm,” “yeah, I know,” never hurt anybody.

Empathy. An integral way to connect. The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand what they are going through, even though you have never experienced the same thing. Going above and beyond to comprehend their experience is the most important thing you can do as a listener.

How do you know you have mastered the skill of listening? When someone’s talking to you, and you do not have an ongoing narrative on how to respond, that’s when you know. Listening to respond is not listening. It’s hearing. Gaur Gopal das once said, “we have two ears and one mouth, so the amount we listen and the amount we speak should be done proportionately.”

Sources:

Communication Coach Alexander Lyon. (2020, June 16). Active Listening Skills [Video]. YouTube.How to Be a Better Listener in Your Relationship. (2022, August 3). Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/listen-better-in-relationships

Jacobsen, J. (2021, December 27). Hearing Vs. Listening in Relationships: How Each Impact Mental Health. Marriage Help. https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/hearing-vs-listening-in-relationships/