BEING PRESENT IN THE POSTPARTUM PERIOD: A time filled with lear…

The postpartum period occurs during the first three months after childbirth, also known as the fourth trimester. Being present or living in the moment can be a challenging endeavour when you’ve just delivered a baby. Whether you had a vaginal birth or a Cesarean section, your body will need good rest and recuperation.

The lack of sleep, physical exhaustion and hormonal fluctuations in the early weeks of the postpartum period will leave you feeling a rollercoaster of emotions. At one moment you may be basking in the warmth of your baby, and in the next, you may be overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and anxiety.

All these emotions can make us dread the postpartum period, with thoughts running through our mind like, “My life is going to be like this forever!”, “When is this phase going to end?” or “Why did no one tell me how hard this is?” All these thoughts take you away from being present with your baby.

So how can you live mindfully and enjoy the postpartum period?

In my experience as a mother and a postpartum nurse, I would say that having a good support system is a key requirement for a smooth transition into motherhood. I would advise a new mother to think about who they want to be part of their support system before their baby arrives. For instance, it could include your partner, your mother, a good friend or a neighbour.

Each person should be someone you can trust to watch your baby in your absence while you take a nap or shower. It should be a person who can help with household chores or prepare a warm meal. Getting quality rest and eating well can go a long way when it comes to helping you enjoy these precious newborn days.

You may find yourself scrolling on your phone during a late-night feed and happen across a post on social media about a mother who has a freezer stash of breast milk while you are struggling with a low milk supply. Perhaps you see another post with someone talking about how her baby sleeps through the night, while you haven’t had undisturbed sleep in weeks.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Social media can be a great tool to connect with other mothers, but it can be easy to fall into the trap of comparison. You may have heard the famous quote that’s often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and this cannot be more true than it is during the postpartum period.

To be present and to enjoy your new baby, you must accept that every baby-and-mother dyad is unique. The beauty in the postpartum period lies in exploring your new identity as a mother and in finding solutions that match your baby’s unique personality.

While social media is filled with parenting tips and how-tos, I would advise you to look for credible sources of information to guide you through the postpartum period. Most provincial or state government health systems have resources that advise families on various topics about newborns. The benefit of using these resources is that you’ll feel confident about following the most up-to-date advice.

This tip will also help you feel more present with your baby because you won’t have to spend time scouring the internet for solutions. You will also feel reassured, as you’ll realize that when a problem arises, you’ll know exactly where to go to find the answer.

The slogan of motherhood should be, “Expect the unexpected.” From childbirth to breastfeeding, things typically do not go according to plan. And that’s OK. To give you an example, a mother can decide to exclusively breastfeed her baby, but then she experiences a low milk supply. With the help of a lactation consultant, this mother can achieve the goal of exclusively breastfeeding her baby. However, if her milk supply remains low, she will have to supplement her baby with formula.

The problem here does not lie in supplementing with formula, but rather, in the fact that the mother doesn’t have control over her body in the way she expected she would. This may leave the mother feeling guilty for not achieving her original goal.

Learning to let go of certain expectations such as this can open you up to the possibility of living mindfully, because it helps shift the focus away from negative thoughts. Letting go can also help shift the focus to the solution, rather than leaving it on the problem.

It is important to know that there will come a time, postpartum, when you will need to ask for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, then be sure to lean on your support system for help. You may experience emotional highs and lows, also known as the ‘baby blues,’ but in general, you should be able to live mindfully and appreciate this special time.

If you feel that it is very difficult to get out of the emotional lows, especially if you feel rage or stress or have difficulty bonding with your baby, then you may be experiencing postpartum depression (PPD). If you suspect you have PPD, then seek help from your doctor; they can arrange a care plan that will help you through this phase of motherhood.

The postpartum period is a time filled with learning and growth, so it is best to take it in stride. I hope that by using these tips, you will find it easier to live in the moment and enjoy your beautiful family.