5x Your Life: The Currency that Elevates Your Quality of Life

If you are thinking about becoming a father or are already on that path, pay attention.

I became a father very early, only a few months.

I had the opportunity through Men's Work to connect with many young and older fathers.

Young fathers who are just starting out and have children from 0+ years old.

Older fathers have been on this path for a long time and have children from 10-40 years old.

Most people when they think of fatherhood think of sacrifice and see it as a loss of parts of themselves...

They think that life stops and that they will never have time for themselves, socializing, and money to give themselves pleasure.

This is one of the key things that nobody talks about.

While most others say that your life stops, I'm here to tell you that it's just the opposite.

How?

Community.

I'll explain to you what I mean.

When a man finds out he's going to be a father, fears arise:

Will I be able to give my children enough?

Does my life stop if I have a child?

Will I disappoint them if I don't succeed?

If I had 5 male friends around me at the moment when I find out I'm going to be a dad, it would be easier for me. We go through too much alone.

Sometimes they recognize it, but it quickly turns into a joke and sweeping it under the rug like most other uncomfortable moments.

Ryan King talks about how “modern men don’t want to be committed” which is true, but commitment without seeing and recognizing the possibilities is nothing.

Of course, as with everything else I talk about, it depends on who we are and what we want. And here the men we surround ourselves with play an important role.

If you want to be committed, recognize the possibilities, and go through the sensations that come to the surface more easily… this is for you.

If you feel there is a possibility, don’t let a few outside limited thoughts take you off the path.

Lone Wolf is a man who goes his own way - a loner separated from the community. This term is often used in the MGTOW (men going their own way) philosophy.

Lone Wolf has his own great goal and goes for it. He does not belong to any modern philosophy or view of the world. He himself researches and comes to his own view.

Exploring interests, exploring old philosophies abandoned today, studying one's own values, ethics, and morality, expressing oneself through creativity, and pushing one's own boundaries. Ultimate freedom.

For many men, including myself, this is a period that plays a very important role in a man's life. It is a kind of initiation through which we voluntarily introduce ourselves. Often this loneliness is stronger than the man, and that's where the problem arises.

Besides all the benefits and good sides of Lone Wolf, some things a man cannot do alone. A man needs other men.

We often come to a wall when we try to deepen the relationships we already have if we suddenly change the language we speak and show another side that is not so accepted or wrongly understood in the culture or society where we are.

This further leads to loneliness and not knowing how to deal with some life challenges.

To simplify things, your community is the people around you and with whom you spend most of your time.

People who see you, hear you and recognize you.

They all have similarities or are the same:

Passions

Goals

Thinking

Values

Ideas

Bonus: Wishes

The first 5 are fundamental to recognizing if you are surrounded by the right people.

Society is full of challenges and problems. It is their view on it that makes a huge difference in how you will go through it. Everyone goes through something in life, but the view of the challenge is what separates you and your people from the rest.

Community is very important on your path in general, but especially when entering fatherhood.

A real community that resonates with your values can make your everyday life easier.

A healthy community gives you:

A sense of belonging

Service

See you and hear you

Security

Understanding

Challenge to be who you want to be

Bonus: Reminder that things are possible

Building or finding a community can sometimes be challenging, but it is very beneficial for a man and a family. Just as you as a man need other men, so does a woman need other women. Short-term it can be done, but in the long term, it can't. Nobody can do it alone.

We come to the question how?

Be present online and go out into the world.

We are online. Information is everywhere. Explore, publish, experience.

Write your vision of your ideal environment/place/community to live in.

Gather information about the community or place - the mentality of the people, values, goals, interests, environment, financial cost, proximity to nature, proximity to other necessary institutions, development, and direction the place wants to go, opportunities for your career and growth, opportunities for the growth and development of your child.

Answer questions:

Does this place align with your core values?

Is this place serving your growth, goals, and vision?

What is the potential of this place?

Can this become a better home for my family?

Is this place healthy for you and your family?

Is this place safe for raising a family - mentally, psychologically, and physically?

Go and experience - if possible, go there and experience the place short-term, if you can't immediately go long-term. Look for potential.

Potential is recognized, it is felt. But if we only cling to potential without accepting where someone is currently, we can quickly forget to be grateful for what we have now.

Accepting where we are now and taking daily steps towards realizing our potential is the formula.

How does this tie into the community?

Community plays a very important role in this because the community is there to remind you when you veer off course and walk in the opposite direction of what you know you deserve and can have.

We are used to hearing why something is impossible, why we shouldn't, and what the negative outcomes are if we go in that direction. - who really wants that? Nobody!

Seek out people who remind you why you can, and why you should do what you want.