Courtney's Best Grooms Maid Speech

(Background: Courtney and Mike had been friends since elementary. Mike moved to CA from MN and was a little, "different." Strong smelling colognes, Hawaiian shirts in December—he was true to his MN. roots. Courtney wanted to poke fun of his eccentricities and she certainly did.)

Courtney's Speech:

Good evening, my name is Courtney, and I’m the Best Grooms Maid. I know, that’s a lot to take in.

My first memory of Mike is from the sixth grade as he was the “new kid” from Minnesota.

Picture a short pale, scrawny Mike with spiked hair, a pooka shell necklace, oversized Hawaiian shirt, and cologne you could smell a mile away.

As today shows, only one of those things has changed.

No more pooka shells. The oversized Hawaiian shirt is packed for the honeymoon.

Over the years, our close group of friends have watched either other grow up. It started with us hanging out at my parent’s house, baking chocolate chip cookies, making home videos, and dressing up in costumes.

That’s probably where Mike learned what sizes fit, even though they were dresses.

Now thinking about it, when we dressed up, his clothes were usually too tight. Skintight to be accurate. I have photos for evidence. See me after.

Mike was really into sports in high school, like baseball, and basketball, which was unfortunate since he didn’t hit his peak height until the end of the season.

But thankfully, he found a sport that he excelled at, swimming. He worked and trained hard to ensure that he was always the first to show off his speedo.

Mike has always been into fashion like Lacoste, Abercrombie, and Crocs. Nothing says style like crocs and a speedo.

Being from Minnesota, Mike liked to tell me that he could “handle” extreme cold temperatures well.

After high school, we went on a summer backpacking trip across Europe. When we were in South England, it was cold, rainy, and windy, and Mike was wearing silk pajamas. The constant rattling from his pooka shell necklace let us know he was “handling” the extreme cold temperature well.

We also discovered Mike’s great sense of direction on that trip. We lost him on several occasions. But we just followed the cologne scent back to him.

I’m sure the majority of you know, Mike likes to go big in everything he does. From clothing brands, rental cars, and date nights with Lucy. I remember him pulling up in his car with a brand new custom speaker system that could “blast” and “boom” music. He then proceeded to blast Backstreet Boys. (Sing: Everybody, yeah, Rock your body, yeah, Everybody rock your body right, backstreets back alright!)

To this day, he loves to talk about photography and speaks to me like I understand what he’s talking about. The iso, aperture settings, how he has the biggest lens. Do I want to see the big lens? Do I want to hold the big lens? Even my husband has held his big lens. I don’t get it.

All joking aside, I was honored when he asked me to be a grooms maid. Our friendship over the past twenty years has remained constant and steady. Through the ups and downs of college, dating, career changes, and finally, both meeting our spouses, we have been close. We support each other through encouragement, laughter, and prayer. I am so thankful for the friendship I have had with Michael and look forward to all the memories we will continue making.

-In conclusion,

-Hawaiian shirts are always in

-He’ll gladly show you his speedo

-And his lens is bigger than yours

So raise your glass to toast the new Mr. and Mrs. Michael Big Lens Cawldry