Script Consultant

I provided detailed developmental notes, line edits, and margin notes for a screenwriter’s deeply personal drama/romance screenplay, Never Tear Us Apart. The screenwriter sought constructive feedback on story structure, dialogue, formatting, action descriptions, and character development to prepare for an extensive rewrite. My focus was to ensure clarity, enhance the emotional depth of the story, and refine the pacing and world-building elements, all while maintaining the integrity of the writer’s unique voice.

Developmental Notes: 3+ pages of actionable feedback on story, structure, characters, and dialogue.

On-the-Page Margin Notes: Scene-specific commentary to guide the writer through revisions.

Line Edits: Suggestions for clearer action descriptions and stronger dialogue.

Formatting Edits: Ensured the script adhered to industry standards for presentation.

The client is a passionate screenwriter crafting a heartfelt narrative exploring themes of love, identity, and resilience. With this script, the writer delves into personal experiences and social commentary, aiming to create a relatable yet thought-provoking film.

The script’s foundation was strong, but the writer faced several key challenges:

Structural Clarity: The opening sequence felt muddled, and the story's initial pacing lacked focus.

Character Development: While the protagonist was well-rounded, the supporting characters needed more depth and agency.

Dialogue Consistency: Early dialogue felt flat compared to the sharp and engaging exchanges in the latter half of the script.

Action Descriptions: Lengthy and less visual action descriptions needed to be tightened and aligned with industry expectations.

World-Building: Opportunities to enrich the cultural and sensory details of settings like Kenosha, Chicago, and Orlando were underexplored.

The screenplay’s strengths lay in its emotionally resonant core and relatable themes. However, aligning the structure and character arcs with the emotional weight of the story was essential to maximize its impact. By focusing on pacing, dialogue, and world-building, the screenplay could achieve a greater balance between its intimate personal narrative and its broader cultural context.

Independent Filmmakers: Interested in character-driven dramas with social and cultural underpinnings.

Festivals and Producers: Seeking heartfelt, grounded stories exploring universal themes of love and identity.

Romantic Drama Fans: Audiences drawn to films like La La Land and The Farewell, which combine personal struggles with cultural nuances.

To help the screenwriter strengthen the story, I provided comprehensive feedback with a focus on:

Reimagining the Opening: Suggested starting with visual and auditory elements of the riot, immersing viewers immediately and setting a stronger tone for Meghan’s journey.

Deepening Characters: Proposed scenes to showcase David’s world and motivations outside of Meghan’s perspective, and recommended more nuanced dynamics between Meghan and her parents.

Elevating Dialogue: Highlighted key scenes where dialogue shone and identified areas for improvement, ensuring consistency in tone and emotional resonance.

Tightening Action Descriptions: Demonstrated how concise, visual descriptions could improve readability and maintain audience engagement.

Enhancing World-Building: Encouraged sensory-rich details to differentiate the script’s various settings and enrich the atmosphere.

Initial Review: I analyzed the screenplay’s overall structure, narrative flow, and character arcs to identify strengths and areas for improvement.

Onboarding: Collaborated with the writer to understand her personal connection to the story and specific feedback goals, including the desire for a stronger opening and tighter pacing.

4. Feedback Delivery: Provided all notes and edits in a detailed PDF file, ensuring easy navigation and actionable suggestions.

The writer gained a clearer understanding of the script’s strengths and areas for growth, leaving the project equipped with a roadmap for the next draft. By refining the opening, enhancing character dynamics, and tightening dialogue, the writer was able to align the story with its emotional core while adhering to professional screenwriting standards.

This project showcased my ability to balance technical expertise in screenwriting mechanics with a deep respect for the writer’s voice and vision. My collaborative approach ensured the feedback was actionable, empathetic, and aligned with the writer’s goals. By focusing on both macro (structure and character arcs) and micro (dialogue and formatting) elements, I provided holistic support that elevated the screenplay’s potential.

This project reminded me of the importance of empathy and collaboration in feedback. Working on a deeply personal story required me to honor the writer’s perspective while providing constructive critique. It also reinforced my belief that every script can be a learning experience for both the writer and the consultant, further honing my ability to adapt feedback to each writer’s unique needs.

Whether it’s tightening the structure, sharpening dialogue, or refining character arcs, I’m here to help you bring your story to life. Let’s collaborate to elevate your screenplay!