HELP!!!!! I'm Fat.

Edidiong rubs her belly and groans as her stomach rumbles once again. Her mother has been in the kitchen for the past hour preparing lunch and she doesn’t think she can bear the hunger any longer. She looks wistfully at the bag of chips one of her brothers has abandoned on the sofa. She would just take a little, to assuage her hunger for the time being. She tears open the bag of chips and almost cries in delight as she crunches chip after chip. Smiling, she turns on the television.

“Edidiong! Am I not preparing lunch? Why are you stuffing your face with junk?” her mother interrupts her in a shrill voice.

“Mummy I was hungry, I just wanted to take a little” Edidiong explains.

“As big as your stomach is, you’re hungry. Is it until you’re too fat to pass through the door? Help yourself for once” her mother hisses as she grabs the bag of chips and returns to the kitchen.

Edidiong has suddenly lost her appetite. She silently sobs and she goes to her room.

It is sad that for most plus size young adults in Nigeria and other parts of the world, the reality of their lives is strikingly similar to that of Edidiong.. From a young age, the “big” kids are separated from the skinny kids, albeit subtly. The slim kids get selected to play sports, have a lot of friends, are the cool kids while the “big” kids are only noticed by their academic prowess, if any.

The Advanced Oxford Learners Dictionary defines plus size as “denoting or relating to clothes of a size larger than those found in standard ranges” . According to PLUS Model magazine, "In the fashion industry, plus size is identified as sizes 18 and over, or sizes 1X-6X and extended size as 7X and up". Their weight should typically be between 161 and 205 pounds, with a chest size of 41” to 45”. It is important to stress here that plus-size does not necessarily mean obese .One can have a larger body frame but still be a healthy body weight. Also, healthy body weight and size can vary by individuals.

Growing up as a plus size woman in Nigeria could be a traumatising experience. It could seem like the world hates you, just because you look different from everyone else. Most plus size women and teenagers struggle with low self esteem and the feeing of worthlessness. They find it difficult to develop an identity because in most cases, people already define them by their body size. They are always self conscious because they constantly feel they are being watched by the world and strive to live up to society’s approval of how a woman should look.

Brenda, a plus size undergraduate says” I always feel insecure in everything I wear...there is just this constant feeling of inferiority. I am always anxious everytime I go out wondering how people see me or if they are judging me”. “Som.,etimes, I’ll just be eating and people will keep staring at me and some even go as far as asking why I’m eating despite how big I am”

A common misconception in society is that being plus size is synonymous with being unhealthy, which is not the case. It is very possible for a person to be both fit and overweight, even obese. The most important thing to understand is what “fit” means and what “overweight” means relative to your health.

According to Dr. Stephen C. Brewer, medical director at Canyon Ranch in Tucson, in an article titled ‘Is it possible to be fit and fat?’, “Being orweight is typically defined by body mass index (BMI), a common measurement of body fat based on height and weight. According to World Health Organization, people with a BMI of 30 or more are considered obese, which puts them at risk for certain health problems. Those with a BMI below 25 are considered normal and healthy, while a BMI between 25 and 30 is defined as overweight. However , the problem is, BMI doesn’t tell the whole story about someone’s health. For instance, the computation fails to take into account gender (women have more fat than men) or lean muscle mass. BMI also doesn’t measure how much fat you’re carrying compared to other components of the body — what’s called body composition, or the amount of lean tissue (muscle, bone and organs) and fat you have. "Two people with the same BMI can look very different” “Someone can have excess fat and have the same BMI as a person who has a lot of muscle "

All my life I have seen women being condemned and judged for being a bigger size than others and these things take a toll on them eventually. Favour, an undergraduate In MCPherson University says “ It is a whole lot to go to class only to be scrutinised by students and lecturers alike who always have something to say about my weight. One particular day I would never forget was in my 200 level. There was an event held in my school hall and I volunteered as an usher. I wore a black gown. A lecturer who clearly knew I was a student approached me and started asking if I'm married, saying I look pregnant and commenting on my stomach. He even asked me to come to his office to collect skipping rope so that I can use it to lose weight. That day, I broke down and cried. I could no longer usher the event . I kept looking in the mirror that day and crying. This man saw me the next day and reminded me to come and get the skipping rope and enrol in a gym because I really need it. Personally, I like my body but that day, I cried. I had to go home for a week to regain myself because it really wasn't funny”.

Ore, a young Nigerian lady had a similar experience “ In secondary school, my school uniform was fitted and I always felt self conscious because of my stomach. I was called a pregnant woman and taunted by my classmates and even some adults in church. It affected me to the point that I started begging my mom to buy me loose clothes and to stop sewing me fitted clothes. I was ashamed of my body. I stopped eating at home and my mom eventually noticed. She and my elder sister spoke to me and encouraged me and now I am comfortable in my skin, and I've also shed some weight using healthy methods. I would advise other plus size girls out there to love themselves and their bodies. They shouldn't let the opinions of others stop them from living their best lives. You are beautiful the way you are. You can work on your weight if shedding some of it will make you feel more comfortable, but never let the words of others put you down”

Kunle, a young Nigerian man says “ I have personally witnessed a lot of girls being body shamed and bullied just because they are plus size. I have never been in a setting where a plus size girl is actually made to feel “normal” even when she is among her fellow girls and honestly that says a lot about the Nigerian society”.

Ofure, a young Nigerian stage actress says, “ I get a lot of hate comments when I’m on stage because of my body “

I can personally relate to these stories of bullying, discrimination, low self esteem and the likes that most Nigerian plus size women have in common. As a society, we can do better. We should be able to realise that not every one can look the same and be open to embracing our individual differences. To the plus size Nigerian females, it is our collective responsibility to embrace our uniqueness, love our bodies, eat healthy and be comfortable in our skin. We may not be able to change the mindset of others towards us or force others to treat us right but we can change our realities by accepting ourselves for who we are.