He looked at me and that’s how I knew....we would be together forever. He was exactly my type; tall, light skinned and muscular. He looked like that first burst of sunlight after long weeks of heavy rain, lifting the gloom and brightening everything it touches. He walked towards me and I smiled. Jason.
He took me to a 5 star Italian restaurant on our first date. He held doors open for me, pulled out chairs and lowered me into them with forehead kisses, brought me flowers, and fed me. He held my hand, gazed into my eyes and called me Ma Chérie . Jason, the perfect gentleman.
On the day of love, he took me to the beach and my heart sang when I saw the decorations. He even remembered my favourite color and had gotten a black cake inscribed with “Happy Valentine’s day Sarah”. As he lay on the sand gazing at the stars, I stared at him. This beautiful man who could easily pass for a model . He was everything I could never have had in college, back then when I had been overweight and invisible to all the guys I wanted. I sat on his lap and he pulled me close to his chest. Jason, the perfect lover.
Now I stare at him as he moves about in my kitchen, and I smile. My perfect gentleman came over to my house to cook for me and cheer me up because I have been very sick. He sets the dinner table and I get the wine glasses and the bottle of wine. We eat and laugh animatedly, fighting over who gets to feed who. Two people in love. I watch Jason refill our wine glasses while I clear our plates away.
When the tummy pains start, we are in my bed. I soothe my man while he doubles over on the bed, wheezing. My own tummy feels like my intestines are being squeezed but I smile. When the doctor told me I had just 2 months to live, I knew I could not subject Jason to the pain of losing me. I also could not imagine him eventually moving on after I’m gone. He was my only chance at true love and he belonged to me alone. The decision to poison the bottle of wine had been an easy one.
I cradle my lover in my arms. I am content. Even as the blood that pours out of his mouth mirrors mine, I am content. I stare into his eyes and watch the life drain away even as I fade away. Jason and Sarah. Together forever.
