Colorful

To be constantly eulogized in stirring effects, tweaks a manner of popularizing self-appreciation which blesses you with merriment and perpetual dopamine. Armed with a steaming cup of thoughts saturated with sugar of words and mixed with minuscule bits of bitterness, the constant thrill of it all is to simply, express.

But how?

When one has been brutally muzzled by unforgiving territory, it is punishable to not be blinded by a spectrum of hope. If the ceaseless fighting to live is no longer an option, what could the future ever possibly unfold?

I am obliquely hearing a word. A slow-paced trims of emotion swarmed with formidable enemies in an incalculable circumference trying to find the equation to get out but just couldn't. The volume seemed unhappier for it echoed louder and louder ironically creating a quiet environment. Though it has staged unpleasant entertainment, the audience is always expected to make a bigger contrasting reaction. Oftentimes, it is taken out of context. Broadly romanticized. Wild guesses locally carry a sack of upset and fury and transport to redemption while others portray a poetic justice being called out as a bona fide excuse to explore the right answer— Sadness. The inertia of melancholia could rather be overstretching for it is regularly covered by lust of glee but it is greatly seen in isolation. It is often frowned upon, thrown with avoidance, and purposely canceled to prevent further issues. Looking deeper into it, sadness is supposed to be just the absence of happiness. It should be valid and that being sad is normal for everyone to feel because that's how life is, like a wheel. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. But for others, it is some kind of weakness that becomes a stigma so popular that a pun is intended. People who are in a state of anxiety and depression are often ridiculed amiably hence the problem starts. Blindfolds are the cheapest accessory to crime and almost every day, the criminals get away with it leaving footprints of hate and disgust. Still, people call this a mere entertainment. A circus that was customized and made for a show and that for them, they could not do anything but simply stare in what perceived to be the intermediate between green and violet.

Do you like the color of blue?

I think you do, Makoto.

Ashes to ashes, we burn with desire, and when flames turn to embers, will we die? I thought so too. Gray, I see you during the rainy season. When the clouds look hefty and sad, covering the whole sky. At the end of your long concert of tears, I wonder will you be alright after? Does your heart now feel lighter? Will you let me see the clear blue sky? No, for here comes another typhoon. That’s how you make me feel, Gray. A storm. You're supposed to have a stop-over but not stay in anyone's heart, especially in Makoto's. You hurt me in the cruelest way, where no tears were flowing. Just purely blank stares out the windows, self-reflecting or self-sabotaging over things I have no control of. I tried many ways to gaslight myself but it was so strong that no perfect words could ever describe this spectrum of feelings. Gray, when you are calm you look harmless but you could never dupe me again with your quietness. I see you in Makoto. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to ask why him. Was there a particular reason? Do you have a basis for choosing your victims or is it in a random form such as selecting a candidate from a pile of resumes in a recruiter's office? How does it feel after succeeding? How many trophies have you earned by sticking around in someone else's soul? I am engagingly curious. Does your intangibility make you powerful?

How are you?

Three words, nine letters, one question, hard to answer. Some people brush off the idea of the importance of being vulnerable because of societal trash. How truly you are and you would only get an answer encapsulating "I'm okay" or "I am good", so precise and concise instead of responding honestly, "I am sad" or "I am not okay". It's rhetorical but it isn't an obligation for everyone to build a solution and make a reaction out of it. Sometimes one just needs a good listener to ease the pain and continue to live in an unforgiving world.  Melancholia is greatly presented in Makoto's obscure life story. The irony is the title of the movie when I thought Colorful was a kaleidoscope world but jokes on me when I found out it was not. Makoto, I have so many things I wanted to say to you. I had hoped things did not happen the way they did but, didn't fade into gray.

Look at the colorful flowers embracing you. It looks good on you. You look like an angel but Makoto, you are too young and too precious to leave this world. No one could ever bury you without a heavy heart. Bullying should have never existed in the first place if only profound issues were being addressed correctly. With the right amount of understanding and sympathy, no child could ever harbor a strong feeling of anger. Bullying is a trauma response by people who are in an unsafe environment. Hate is a strong word, and so is red. Different shades and variations have different interpretations. One of which is bullying. It is one of the steel and spiky barriers surrounding society so even if you want to get out, you could not without harming yourself, regardless of age. Every part of the world experiences this certain type of stain of humanity and the only question left is, “Will it ever stop?”. There is no right or wrong answer. However, its superciliousness is permeable to some people. They illustrate cataracts of hope for victims to cope because depression is the prerequisite of bullying that leads to an upsetting ending. For them, red is just a strong word for every strength and has its equal weakness to burn. That is why I don't believe that both victims and oppressors are beyond saving. When emotions are at peace, even loneliness could be of great help to deal with these kinds of setups even if capable people are blinded, muted, and deaf.

A cry for help isn't always read in everybody's lips. There are no signal warnings like traffic lights but, it is very essential for people to "see" and identify when it is time to help because no one could foresee that you might be the next victim. Painting the town red is easier yet one should always remember that every color could be saturated. It is not perpetual. So in every possible way, let us be human and help those who are in need. Every life matters. Let us not take away other colors from the youth. Red is just a strong word so is hate but so are other colors.

Colorful strikes me as a bittersweet story of a young boy strangled by bullying and depression. The setting looked dull which surprised me given the title should be filled with wonders and hope. And I am not going to lie, the plot twist was astounding. As the movie played, it allowed me time to understand who Makoto is. Though I have never thought about taking my own life, his story resonated with me. I guess this is the power of "Slice of Life". It can touch every soul of the viewers and make them feel seen and heard. The main theme of Colorful is much darker but how wise it was to mask a darker tone with a lighter color? I have always seen Colorful in my recommendation list but unfortunately, I just picked it up this year and here I am, writing about it. Must have been a long time since I felt so alive again because of these kinds of movies. So many people take their lives every day and proofs show nationwide due to the existence of news channels yet I do wonder, there is little to none letting the whole world know or talk about the story of those people so again, I am grateful to encounter this award-winning film for it beautifully delivered the melancholy of youth and how much it is important to always ask the well-being of the people we love. It is never wrong to care about others.

As I was watching the ending credits, I realized that the light at the end of the tunnel is real and that light is a rainbow bliss.