What If My Body Feels Like a Desecrated Temple?

In my last piece, I talked about the effects of being subjected to constant, negative body talk from the closest people to you, and how it can essentially change the trajectory of one’s own perception of themselves — if not their whole life. Little did I know that I would also be growing up in the age of social media and content creators, which has done nothing but intensify unhealthy habits, unrealistic beauty standards, and false positivity when it comes to body talk and accepting oneself.

To start, I want to say this isn’t a criticism of anyone or the content they create. It’s just my perspective as someone who watches and reflects on how social media can shape the way we see ourselves. It is needless to say that whatever we see on social media isn’t real, and everything has been curated to appeal to the public eye that chooses to follow and watch, but we can’t deny that people still get influenced, reflect, and compare themselves. It is inevitable and we all do it, even if unconsciously, so surely it will have an effect on our mental health or overall thinking at the end of the day. Whether it is young girls or grown women who consume the content, some -if not most of us- have had to deal with one issue or another related to our bodies and self-confidence.

I have recently started following a couple of creators who share fitness content and advice on how to lead a healthier life in general. Personally, I only try to follow people whose content resonates with me and feels realistic, because I truly can’t relate to anything that seems out of touch or unattainable. It doesn’t serve me, and I willingly steer away from it. But, unfortunately, it always doesn’t last for long because I quickly start to realize that people forget why they built a platform, at least the ones whose intention was to merely share, and not influence or inflict a certain lifestyle on their audience. It also becomes really hard to digest when I’m constantly being sold something at every step. I am aware that this is the reality of this vocation and that’s how they make money, but it’s just honestly exhausting. It starts feeling like everyone is trying to monopolize how we live, what we eat, how we should look all the time.

What if body positivity starts turning into toxic positivity? I am all for accepting our bodies and loving them as they are, but I can’t tolerate how people on the internet are quick to demonize those who want to change something about themselves. There’s always a lot of discrepancy around this discourse, because they will tell you to let go of society’s expectations and create your own beauty standard, but discourage you from ever mentioning or asking about calories, body goals, and diets? I thought breaking away from social constraints meant being ourselves whatever that means for each one of us. If someone wants to count calories or lose/gain weight, let them. If someone is happy with how they look and don’t want to change anything about it, let them. If someone actually decides to change something about their body for their own health and healing, will you let them? We’re all on different journeys, and that’s more than okay — but let’s stop making people feel bad for not being on the same one, or throwing it in each other’s faces like your journey is somehow better or more valid.

The division in ideologies is honestly sometimes too much for the human mind to tolerate. It becomes even harder when you wake up not feeling your best one day, or when you haven’t been talking that nicely to yourself, and you just want to go about your day in peace. Believe me, I unfollow, mute, and consider the occasional social media detox and total-abolishment kind of way out of this, but these thoughts still linger and stay with me for a bit nonetheless (hence, I decided to resort to writing). One of my friends once told me that I’m too ‘perceptive,’ and it was meant as a compliment, but it’s also why I may read too much into things, which usually isn’t good for me. I always remind myself that it’s never that deep when I reflect too hard or think too much about some of the content I see on the internet, but it is what helps keep a very self-aware girly like me mentally stimulated, I can’t help it. They always tell you to take everything they share ‘with a grain of salt,’ but then I’m like, “how can we when you’re literally telling us to do the same thing or else?” You know what I mean? So, respectfully, I will not.

There is no modal answer or resolution here which is completely fine because I’m still figuring it out like the rest of us, so I will not pretend to have any advice to give or dare tell anyone what to do. I will say this though, from one consumer/watcher to another: ignore it. Ignore all of it. You can still watch the content and follow people you like, and once they start doing or saying things that don’t align with your philosophy, ignore them. If it gets too much, hit that unfollow or mute button, of course, you don’t owe them anything, but ignoring what you don’t like works too. I have decided to tune out everything that I don’t want to hear, simply because I don’t have the mental capacity anymore, and I’m not sure I should care that much. It’s not like any of those people actually know anything about my real life or what I choose to do, so I’m certainly not waiting for their acceptance or validation. If it’s good advice, I will take it. If it’s not, I will happily ignore it and try to move on because at the end of the day, it’s just one of many things I choose to look away from for my own sanity. I’m living for me and just me, and I owe it to myself to keep my space sacred and secure, because what else is self-autonomy for?

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