5 ways to know if you are real to yourself

Mind is deceptive and we allow it to deceive us…

TODAY when almost everyone is wearing a mask to hide their true selves, it’s difficult to recognize that who is honest and who is lying. In that case, can we claim confidently that we are honest with ourselves as well?

This question might be confusing to you that how we can cheat ourselves. Well, here lies the answer with logic.

Psychology says in most cases we lie to ourselves as a response to some kind of harsh reality and disruptive truth for self-protection.

We also do so to falsely justify our desires, motives, actions, and behaviors or to avoid responsibilities and we start using these lines most often like, “it doesn’t matter anyway”, “I’m tired”, “I don’t have any time”, etc.

First, we do so unconsciously but gradually we customize this way to flee from what we don’t want to face but then it becomes normal for us to lie to our own self.

So, here are 5 ways to know if you are real to yourself or not.

1) Spend time with yourself

I still remember, in the first semester of my graduation, one of my teachers asked, “You have a lot of time for your friends, family, colleagues, and even for strangers if they ask but have you ever spent even a second with yourself?” Including me, the whole class got confused about what does this means to spend time with yourself.

Then he explained, our MIND demands our time and attention, if you’ll ignore it your consciousness will start ignoring you well. You must spare some time to talk to you, to ask how you feel actually, what are your needs, are you happy, if anything is bothering you, what makes you happy and what leads you to sadness.

These are the basic questions which you need to know about yourself.

2) Observe yourself and ask questions from yourself

Getting suspicious is the first step of an investigation. Now you have grown suspicious then start an investigation which begins with observation.

So, calmly observe yourself without judgment and evaluation. Try to know your motives, thoughts, and feelings without considering these right or wrong and ask questions to yourself accordingly.

3) Observe your feelings

If you are emotionally reactive to something or someone, then you may be suffering from some painful memory or having a painful past.

You really want to escape from facing it again, but situations come when your mind cannot hold pain that bursts out in the form of anger, tears, silence, hollowness, anxiety, or fear.

To be more clear, ask questions to yourself that why are you reacting so? What is the reason for such a reaction? How this situation matches with the older one?

4) Observe your thoughts

Everyone believes that anything he thinks is always right but let me tell you one secret, a human mind is the most deceptive device ever learned. It manipulates humans and makes them believe what is not real. Often, our inaccurate thinking reflects the painful realities that we don’t want to admit.

Irrational and negative thinking regarding any situation leads to deception, and we may lose our precious relations when our wrong thoughts turn into actions.

Not only negative but positive thoughts may be deceptive as well, like, “this person is the best one I have ever met.”

Ask yourself a question as, “why I am thinking this way?” “Is this right to think this way in this situation?”

5) Observe your Actions

Now the last step is to watch your actions. We often put a statement that states not to judge us by our actions as what we always do is not what we really are. Believe me, this statement is as biased to believe as aliens.

Sometimes my older sister gets mad at me and when she returns to her human shape, she justifies herself as that was her concern for me (this and that) but as a second person, I know the fact that she does so whenever she is depressed or holds pain for a long.

If you feel the same then ask questions from yourself that “why I am behaving like this”. “Does my action match the situation?”

Try to accept the reality if it’s harsh, painful, or bitter that is the only way to be real with yourself, and being real with yourself is the only key to be real with others….