The role of Parents in choosing their Child’s Career

I believe that almost 85% of engineering/medical graduates in India will face a stage called the Realization stage​ (that’s the name am giving to it) towards the end of their academics. Because that is the time they start to think about their career choice seriously. Unlike many European or American way of living, Indian youth has less opportunity to explore themselves regarding their actual likes, dislikes, dreams, and choices before the age of 20-25 due to the over-caring/protective parents. Parents choose their kid’s life decisions based on their life situations and calculations.

Parents are always afraid of their children’s wrong decisions(or they think that their kid is not capable of choosing their own decisions). Most probably such parent’s decisions are based on the comparison between their child and the neighbors/coworkers/relatives child. Based on these comparisons, they will end up choosing a great career(not at all great for the kids) that can be discussed with pride in all talk sessions(marriage ceremonies, death ceremonies, in a liquor shop, or with strangers traveling in the train). The kids have to face a lot of emotional trauma even from the tender age of 12-18 as of what they have to become because of the pressure from the family and surroundings. For example, a kid from a family of doctors cannot choose a singing profession just because it won’t suit his/her family status! He/she may be an average doctor in the future or an utter failure, but he/she might have become the sensational singer since his/her heart(and brain) was into it. The most stupid way parents/society chooses to attract their kids to a particular career is by showing the brighter side to them. They will try to motivate kids by talking about the huge ​ salary, allowances, and security followed by their careers. But they won’t tell you the amount of effort kids has to pay for achieving this or at least they don’t know about those difficulties. The middle class or lower middle class always force their kid to choose a secure career path so that they will get a permanent source of income and security at the early stage of life. This is the reason, many youths go behind the government or bank jobs after completing their graduation which has nothing to do with the respective job profile!

So we were talking about the realization stage that happens one day, like a coconut falling on the head(similar to newtons apple). Kids will face the truth that they are not made for the profession their parents choose or that choice was due to the pressure from society. The next thing is very important. Only a few people (like 5-10%) will step out of this mess by either fighting or convincing their parents/ society and follow their dream. Even if they act convinced, they will always wait for a falling moment of your dream path just to say- ​ I told you so!

Now sadly the other majority will follow the career they hate to make their close ones happy and proud. They may become good, average or bad in these career paths, but they know that if things go south, they can always blame their close ones for forcing them to it. But the ultimate truth is, end of the day, they are the sufferers. This has been working for ages in society and the saddest part is, a good amount of these kids does the same to their kids when they become parents.

Talking about a solution to overcome this situation is quite simple. The major reason for the career dilemma in kids is due to the lack of ​self-assessment​ . The parents/society should help their kids in understanding various career choices and instead of showing them the salary/income packages of the career, they should point out the merits and demerits in all possible aspects. Kids can pursue their career choice when these aspects are cross-checked with their abilities.

Not all parents can guide their kids like this due to reasons like say, their educational limitations. Hence the Government, NGOs, and other educational institutions should build up counseling centers for both parents and kids that can help them reach a decision. The best thing that ever going to happen for a kid is the ​assurance that the parents will always try to understand their life decisions from their point of view as well. And parents can be proud to call themselves parents only if they are willing to ​understand and support their kids without judging or comparing them with others in society.