If you didn’t know, October 11 is National Coming Out Day. I wanted to take a few minutes to share about the history of the holiday and what it means to the LGBTQ community today.

The observance day was created in the late ’80s, a year after the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. To say the very least, that was a turbulent time for LGBTQ rights, as the community was fighting the HIV/AIDS crisis, systemic discrimination and public opinion. A few organizations recognized that “coming out of the closet” was one of the most powerful tools LGBTQ folks possessed, as individuals and a collective community.

National Coming Out Day was created to encourage people to wield that power. In 2019, we’ve come a long way. We’ve seen shifts in legislation, public opinion and even amazing advancements in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

National Coming Out Day is still an important part of the community. Folks often use this day as a way to come out, to their communities, celebrate the day they came out of the closet or encourage other folks to come out themselves.

If you’re looking to celebrate the holiday, here are some tips/thoughts on how to be a helpful and supportive ally.

Make sure the people around you know you’re a safe place. Coming out can be scary, especially if you don’t know how your loved ones will react. On National Coming Out Day, make an effort to signal that you’re an ally. It could be a simple Facebook post or putting your pronouns in your signature. A report from the Trevor Project discovered that having “one supportive adult cuts the chance an LGBTQ youth will attempt suicide by 40 percent.” Be that supportive adult!

No pressure. People should come out on their own schedule, when it feels right to them. Avoid pressuring folks to come out on National Coming Out Day, or any day for that matter. Here’s a post that strikes a great balance between making yourself available as a resource without being overly pushy.

Celebrate. If you come across a coming out post on social media, take a second to celebrate with your friend! Do what you can to make sure people know you’re a resource and a friend. 

Coming out means something different to every queer person. Sometimes it happens in a Facebook post, sometimes a dinner table conversation and sometimes it’s an ongoing, gradual process. It’s scary and fun and important. Be a supportive ally this year.

And if you’re celebrating National Coming Out Day this year by coming out, congratulations in advance!