How to Build Trust When Dating in the Post-#MeToo Era
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Dating in the #MeToo era is about showing up as a whole person, not a caricature of what society says a man should be.
This was always a complicated dance, but in the light of the #MeToo movement, everything has changed for men. It is not just a case of swiping right or writing the perfect message, but knowing one’s role in a bigger cultural conversation about consent, respect, and equality.
The point is, guys need to rethink not just how to approach relationships but their role in them. They are still growing up in a world where they are told to be assertive and strong yet today is the most asked time for us to step aside, listen, and reflect on true equality within your actions.
Consent is Non-Negotiable
One of the most profound changes is around the topic of consent. One used to hear, “No means no,” but now, it is a much more complex conversation. No longer about avoiding a firm “no,” but about achieving an enthusiastic “yes.”
This is a quite foreign territory for many men. We never learned to check in with our partner at each step of the game. Now, asking for explicit consent is not just respectful; it’s a building block of trust. When you’re able to create a safe space for your partner to voice his desires, you are laying the groundwork for deeper, more meaningful connections.
The Myth of “Playing Hard to Get”
One old bad date myth people are finally defusing is the notion that women “play hard to get.” And who hasn’t grown up hearing that if you tried long enough, you’d eventually “win” her over? On the face of it, this is rather a misguided approach to winning someone over, especially considering that mutual interest and respect are such huge parts of the dating equation.
The whole dating landscape has shifted; it has nothing to do with trying to get someone to like you but more so with getting someone who actually wants to be with you. This in turn frees up men to come in naturally without feeling the need to “win” at the game of dating.
Emotional Labour
This is why, for instance, the #MeToo movement has drawn attention to the emotional labour in women’s relationships in this context, whether it’s regulating their emotions, trying to discuss sensitive issues, or merely attempting to create an atmosphere of emotional comfort for the other person. Men have some role to play in this too.
It’s time for us to step up and share the burden of emotional labour. Being emotionally available, communicative and vulnerable doesn’t make you weak it makes you a better partner. Emotional intelligence is increasingly seen as one of the most attractive traits a man can have, and embracing it can lead to more balanced and fulfilling relationships.
Redefined Masculinity in Dating
What central focus do these changes hold? Primarily, there’s a necessary redefinition of masculinity from strength and might to stoicism, and we learn today that we can perform better with flexibility, emotions, and self-awareness.
It’s okay not to have all the answers. It’s okay not to know sometimes, and it’s okay to ask for help navigating this new terrain. Women don’t ask for perfection; they ask for us to be accountable. That means owning up to the mistakes that are made, learning from those mistakes, and trying to do better.
The Opportunity to Grow
Though really overwhelming at times, these dynamics in such shifts are a great opportunity for growth, and men have an awful lot to chew on with calls to change and be better allies with an understanding that this relationship stuff is not about power or control but about partnership and equality.
Dating in the #MeToo era is about showing up as a whole person, not a caricature of what society says a man should be. And when we do that, we not only become better partners but contribute to a healthier, more equitable world.
In the aftermath of #MeToo, dating has become a space of growth, listening, and a deeper connection. Opening up to consent, emotional labouring, and defining masculinity can take us closer to healthier, more meaningful connections—and probably redefine what we really mean by a “good man.”.
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Filed Under: Dating, Featured Content Tagged With: #metoo, advice, breaking masculine stereotypes, consent, Emotional Labor, equality, masculine emotion, masculinity, Playing Hard to Get, psychology, relationships, respect, self-improvement, Sex and Relationships
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Posted Oct 25, 2024
Dating in the #MeToo era is about showing up as a whole person, not a caricature of what society says a man should be.
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