Kindergarten Application Writing Enhancement

The world is full of locks and doors and locked doors. Some are expected: bank vaults, car doors, and hotel room safes. But some are surprising. And in the course of my freelance journey, I came up against a surprise gate. I was standing toe to toe with a prestigious kindergarten.

My clients were not native speakers. They had a passion for their child's education, but they wanted the expression of that passion to be more fluid and consequently more impactful. Below, I have a sample of a section by section look at their writing and my revision. (My work is bolded.) To begin, I have included the underlined prompt.

We are proud of A______ for many reasons. What makes us incredibly proud is how she approaches life and perceives her surroundings.

Most of all, she has a permanently sunny outlook and approaches life with a “joie de vie” that is truly infectious.This gives her a special place in everyone’s hearts, whether they’re right next to her or speaking with her from other countries, like many of our family members.

She is especially curious and seeks opportunities to learn about new things. She does not take anything for granted and listens gracefully.

We are often in awe of how she is so empathetic and in tune with others’ feelings. She is independent, but, at the same time, she has no problem socializing with and respecting everyone. However, she has no issue sharing her point of view and standing up for herself. She also stands up for her friends while also being the equalizer and peacemaker. She doesn’t let others sway her opinions. As parents, we support her thoughts and try to guide her as best as we can. We want her to stay sure of who she is, what she believes, and what she values.

The client responded: "Excellent communication - pleasant to work with and delivered excellent work on time and beyond our expectations."

New tasks, new adventures, new learning. I am set and ready for you.