Emma's Blogs and Articles Samples

Getting in My Own Way: Understanding Self-Sabotage

Have you ever felt that sinking and unwelcome realization that you might be getting in your own way? Perhaps there are certain habits you make, or things you do that inhibit you from reaching and achieving your goals.

No one likes to admit that they might be self-sabotaging. It can feel lonely, and perhaps a little embarrassing. But self-sabotaging behaviors are common. Many of us have likely experienced these behaviors in ourselves.

By understanding the psychology behind self-sabotaging, we can learn how to move past those actions and inactions that are slowing us down and blocking our paths to success.

What is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotaging behavior refers to the often-repeated behaviors that can interfere with our daily lives and prevent us from achieving our long-term goals. These behaviors can be intentional action or inaction. Self-sabotage can also relate to mindsets that impact our confidence and the way we believe in ourselves.

Some forms of self-sabotage can include procrastination, perfectionism, internalizing negative self-talk, and allowing fear to hold you back. For example, if you have conflict with perfectionism you may struggle to complete a task because you are afraid it will not be perfect. You may also feel ashamed when you encounter mishaps. Even people-pleasing can be a form of self-sabotage. Consistently saying yes to others, even when it crosses your own boundaries, can lead to burn out, and inhibit you from doing things for yourself.

Many people might not be aware of their self-sabotaging behaviors as the consequences might not immediately link with the action or inaction.

Causes of Self-Sabotaging Behavior

The way our parents and caregivers tend to our emotional needs, even as young as infancy, can have a profound impact on our attachment style and how we connect with others. If we struggle to feel secure in our relationships with others, we may participate in behaviors that do not foster a healthy connection. For example, you may be avoidant, and struggle with allowing yourself to be close to others. Or if you feel anxious, you might have a hard time with co-dependency.

Low self-esteem is another cause of self-sabotage. People with low self-esteem might allow the negative thoughts and beliefs they have about themselves to influence their actions and in turn, confirm those negative beliefs. For example, if we have been told many times in our lives that we are a failure, we may believe those words and become uncomfortable when we are close to success.

Cognitive dissonance can influence self-sabotaging. When we hold two conflicting beliefs at the same time, we are experiencing cognitive dissonance. For example, you may be about to land your dream client, yet you may hold yourself back from meeting with them due to feeling like you aren’t good enough.

Impact of Self-Sabotage

These behaviors of self-sabotage may feel minute and inconsequential in the moment. But when repeated, and ingrained into our habits, we can create a negative impact on our daily lives and goals. They can lead to feelings of hopelessness about achieving our dreams and goals, which can, in turn, fuel our insecurities and reduce our motivation and enthusiasm. This can lead to a devastating cycle of panicking each time we are on the edge of stepping out of our comfort zone. Those insecurities and that ingrained fear can further lead us to patterns of behavior that do not align with our goals or interests.

So, how can we overcome self-sabotage?

1.       Self-Awareness

It can be tricky to identify the things we do that stop us from achieving our goals. One approach can be listening to your thoughts. Take note of your goals, and ask yourself if there is anything you are doing that might be preventing you from achieving? Listen to your body and your thoughts, especially any distressing emotions.

Our thoughts can directly impact our emotions, and vice versa. Taking the time to listen to these thoughts and emotions can help you identify the source of certain behaviors, mindsets, and patterns. For example, the next time you call yourself a failure, try to ask yourself if this is based on fact.

2.       Journal

Write down your goals, your thoughts, and your feelings. Take note of your behavior throughout the day. It might help you identify the habits you are doing that are stopping you from progressing. Are you unmotivated? Do you put off tasks and decisions? Do you talk negatively to yourself?

3.       Implement Counter Actions

Once you have identified the behaviors, create a plan of actions that will counter that self-sabotaging behavior. For example, if you struggle with negativity in your work, try to make a positive comment once a day, even if it is just to yourself. Or if you struggle with procrastinating anxiety-inducing tasks, allow yourself a small reward after you complete that task. Positive reinforcement is a great way to foster motivation and action.

4.       Develop Self-Supporting Behaviors

Positive affirmation and self-encouragement can help cultivate a mindset that supports and uplifts you, rather than tears you down. Tell yourself, “I am capable. I am smart. I can do this!” Our minds are powerful, and they can truly shape our reality, just as much as we can shape our minds. When we are intentionally positive and graceful with ourselves, we can train our brains to believe these positive thoughts and therefore, set ourselves up better for success.

Try to set yourself smaller goals that lead to your bigger goal. For example, if your long-term goal is to publish a novel, give yourself a series of manageable goals, such as writing a chapter a week. Don’t forget to reward yourself when you achieve these little goals, even if it’s just a takeaway meal for dinner.

Believe in Yourself!

Self-sabotage is a common downfall for many women. These behaviors usually arise from fear-based negative thoughts and can undermine our success, even if you truly want to achieve our goals and dreams. By learning to listen to our stream of consciousness and identify our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, we can develop steps to counter self-sabotage and foster self-support. We can be our biggest critics. But learning to advocate and cheer for yourself can truly turn your life around and orient you towards your dream relationships and life.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.” – Henry David Thoreau

References:

Cooks-Campbell. A. (2022). How to stop self-sabotaging: 5 steps to change your behavior. Retrieved from:

https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-stop-self-sabotaging

Field, B. (2023). Self-Sabotaging: Why Does It Happen. Retrieved from:

https://www.verywellmind.com/why-people-self-sabotage-and-how-to-stop-it-5207635

Mind Tools Content Team. (2023). Self-Sabotage. Retrieved from:

https://www.mindtools.com/ano939l/self-sabotage

Psychology Today. (2023). Self-Sabotage. Retrieved from:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/basics/self-sabotage

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BLOG 2

What is the Paris Climate Agreement?

The Paris Agreement, which came into effect in 2020, aims to tackle climate change by reducing global emissions. The Paris Climate Agreement was signed by Parties under the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change. Aotearoa New Zealand, therefore, must reduce greenhouse gas emissions significantly by 2030 to meet the Act’s requirements.

The goals of the act, among many, are to reduce carbon emissions and find low carbon solutions. This is important for keeping the global temperature below 2° C, and to ensure nations can withstand the effects of climate change.

With all that said, it’s clear there’s a lot of work to do and it can seem overwhelming. Many industries, including the construction industry, must adhere to the Paris Climate Agreement.

For any construction project, company products easily meet the requirements of the Paris Agreement. Making the switch to a climate-friendly solution is seamless with company product.

How do company products meet the Paris Climate Agreement? We have broken down our systems that ensure we are the most sustainable, environmentally friendly option for concrete blocks. 

Product Stewardship.

Product Stewardship is the concept of manufacturers taking responsibility for their products’ entire life cycle. Therefore, manufacturers should design products that maximise the efficiency of resources and reduce waste in the long-term. Company name’s product stewardship scheme uses the materials repeatedly. We do this by using high-quality, wet, excess concrete, and pour it straight into moulds. The concrete can be dismantled, non-destructively, and used again.

With this scheme, we reduce waste and maximise our resources, and ensure we are easily meeting the Paris Climate Agreement.

Circular Economy.

Company name’s unique circular economy system ensures no excess concrete is wasted. When there is leftover excess concrete, we are unfortunately wasting a valuable resource, and are therefore emitting unnecessary carbon. Company name’s solution is successful as it captures the high-quality, wet, excess concrete before it expires, and pours it into moulds to create our pre-cast wall systems. This solution closes the loop on concrete waste as the blocks can be broken down and reused. This is a great way to reduce our carbon output and thus meet the requirements of the Paris Climate Agreement.

As another benefit of our CarbonSmart process, we offer a buyback guarantee for Interbloc, which allows you to sell your blocks back to us once you no longer need them. This is a great way to reuse the material, as we can dismantle the blocks non-destructively by lifting them individually from the structure. This recycling processes further helps us to reduce our carbon emissions and meet the Paris Climate Agreement.

Modularity System.

The design and manufacture of company products are essential for sustainable concrete solutions. We capture all high-quality, excess concrete while it is still in its wet form, and pour it into our moulds, creating our precast wall systems. They are designed with interlocking, shear-key system, therefore making the dismantling process non-destructive. These blocks come with significant benefits as they start life with low embodied carbon and continue to reabsorb carbon over their life. The blocks reduce time, labour, and materials, are durable and have an extended structural lifetime.

Therefore, we solve unnecessary carbon emissions by reusing and reducing waste in a circular economy system and thus, fit within the Paris Climate Agreement.

Conclusion.

The Paris Climate Agreement can seem a daunting responsibility for many in the construction industry. However, making the switch to a sustainable solution doesn’t have to be complex. Company name offers a solution that ensures we are reducing our carbon emission, in an easy, seamless process that offers long-term financial and sustainability benefits.  Thus, our products are a great solution to the Paris Climate Agreement.

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BLOG 1

Fostering a Positive Relationship with Tenants

Property managers understand the importance of creating and nourishing positive relationships with their tenants. While it’s important to care for our properties and manage behind-the-scenes, it’s crucial to put in the effort into establishing a personable relationship with your tenants. A positive relationship will help ensure good communication and a great experience between both parties.

We’ve put together a list of tips for fostering a positive tenant relationship.

First Impressions.

We know this sounds cliché. But it’s important to make your tenants feel welcome and comfortable. Let them know you are there to help and answer questions. Also, make sure you answer questions in an easy-to-understand manner. This is a great way to help build trust between both of you, as they will feel more comfortable coming to you in the future if there are any problems.

Get to Know the Tenant.

At the end of the day, both you and the tenant are people. Having a conversation and getting to know them outside of their records and documents is a great way to “break the ice,” ease any tensions, and set a friendly tone for the tenancy.

Communicate Well.

Communication is vital for successful tenant relationships. Ensure you put everything in writing, so you have a “paper trail” of evidence in the case of disputes. Listen to the tenants. Be available and open to help them.

Honesty.

While property managers often dread being the bearer of bad news for tenants, it is vital property managers are up front and honest about news or updates the tenant may not like. For example, let them know if you cannot address a repair right away, and provide a realistic timeframe for when they should expect it to be seen to.

Prioritise Safety and Security.

People need to feel safe and secure in their homes. Set time to inspect safety features regularly. Create a schedule for routine maintenance. This will help save your landlord money in the long run on repairs. It will also ensure the tenants feel safe and that their space is respected. In turn, they will be more likely to protect the property’s long-term value.

Encourage Community Spirit.

You can support a great relationship with your tenants by providing helpful tips about the local area and community. Let them know about nearby amenities. Point out any fun local events such as movies in the parks and farmers’ markets. Encouraging involvement in the local community is a great way to nurture a long-term tenancy and ensuring the tenants themselves have a positive experience in the property.

References:

Azibo Team. (2022). How to Build Positive Landlord-Tenant Relationships. Retrieved from:

https://www.azibo.com/blog/landlord-tenant-relationships/

Steinbarth, S. (2021). Five Tips On Building Better Relationships With Renters. Retrieved from:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesrealestatecouncil/2021/07/16/five-tips-

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Dinnertime Exhaustion: What is Decision Fatigue?

Making decisions can be challenging on a good day. Weighing up pros and cons, assessing the potential consequences of our decisions, whether good or bad, can be tough to navigate.

Some decisions are, of course, easier than others. We make tons of decisions each day. We tend to choose what to wear in the morning, choose what to eat for breakfast, or what to take for lunch. Other decisions can be tough. Should you accept that new job? Which school should you send your children to? Who will you spend the holidays with this year? Sometimes, it can even be hard to decide what to eat for dinner!

When we make lots of conscious decisions in a day, or over a short span of time, we can become overwhelmed and feel drained.

What is Decision Fatigue?

Decision fatigue is when a person’s ability to make decisions is impaired after they’ve made many decisions. When we make lots of decisions every day, or our decisions affect others, we may experience decision fatigue. It can also happen during a difficult season in your life or if you have perfectionist tendencies.

While it is not entirely clear or understood why we can become fatigued or experience brain fog after making many decisions, Dr. Roy F. Baumeister introduced the theory of ego depletion. This theory suggests that humans hold the power of independence and free will to make their decisions. But we can be challenged with navigating beneficial choices with those that might fulfill our current needs.

For example, imagine you are still hungry after work, and you have the option of eating cookies or fruit. You know the fruit is typically the healthier choice. But you have a sweet craving. That sugar will satisfy your pestering sweet tooth at the moment and give you that hit of dopamine. Weighing motivations with priorities can be a challenge.

The ego-depletion theory suggests that whenever we go through this exercise, our energy is drained. When that energy depletes, our executive function – in the prefrontal cortex of the brain – is impacted. The theory concludes that our willpower and free will have limits.

So, what are the signs of decision fatigue?

1.       Decision Avoidance.

Avoiding certain situations and people is a common consequence of decision fatigue!

2.       Brain Fog.

You may notice you struggle to focus on tasks, both household and at work. Or your speech may come out wonky.

3.       Decision Paralysis.

Sometimes, if we have too many options or too many decisions to make, our minds might freeze and struggle to weigh the pros and cons.

4.       Impulsivity.

If you notice you’ve impulse bought something, or done something with little thought, you may be suffering from decision fatigue.

5.       Irritability.

If you got snappy at your friend for asking where to go to lunch, it might be time to acknowledge that decision fatigue.

How can we prevent decision fatigue and have more control over our thought processes and choices?

1.       Remove some Choice from Areas of your Life.

Perhaps try decluttering your skin care products or create a capsule wardrobe. Reducing the choices you have, especially in smaller aspects of your, can help things in your life feel a little more automated.

2.       Plan Meals.

Create a menu for the week ahead. That way, you have delegated time to this task so you can conserve your energy and executive function when it comes to making dinner during the work week.

3.       Remove Distractions.

When we choose to scroll through Instagram or Facebook when we have other things to do, we can drain our willpower to complete those other tasks. Reduce fatigue by eliminating distractions, especially when engaging in important tasks.

4.       Delegate Decisions to Others.

Can your partner decide what the kids eat for lunch? Can your work colleague make that decision regarding the client or the project? Let go of that inner perfectionist voice and allow others to take the initiative with some tasks.

5.       Movement and Exercise.

Ah, there’s that pesky advice. We all know that exercise is good for our minds. It can help us make better decisions, too. By releasing dopamine and serotonin, through movement, you can release muscular tension and improve executive function.

6.       Self-Care and Downtime.

A tale as old as time. Make sure you are looking after yourself and setting time to just be. Whether that is allowing yourself to read, paint, or simply lounge on the couch watching your comfort show. Allowing yourself and your mind to rest is vital for protecting yourself against brain fog and decision fatigue.

7.       Develop Daily Routines.

When you create routines for yourself, you can help make less important tasks become automatic and complete them on “autopilot.” It is also a great way to reduce anxiety and preserve your energy for more important decision-making.

Conclusion.

Decisions can be tough, and they can be never-ending. Learning how to manage our routines and choices is a great way to prevent ego depletion, and consequently, decision fatigue. Being mindful and aware of procrastination, and decision paralysis can help you identify the root cause of your decision fatigue. You can then implement strategies to improve your decision-making skills and alleviate any negative feelings associated with making choices.

References:

Berg, S. (2021). What doctors wish patients knew about decision fatigue. Retrieved from:

https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/public-health/what-doctors-wish-patients-knew-about-decision-fatigue#:~:text=Decision%20fatigue%20is%20%E2%80%9Cthe%20idea,more%20difficult%20it%20can%20become.%E2%80%9D

Cleveland Clinic. (2023). 8 Signs of Decision Fatigue and How To Cope. Retrieved from:

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/decision-fatigue/

Johnson, J. (2020). What is decision fatigue? Retrieved from:

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/decision-fatigue

Miles, M. (2022). 7 signs of decision fatigue (and how to defog your brain). Retrieved from:

https://www.betterup.com/blog/decision-fatigue

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BLOG 3

Sounds of the Saronics

Hydra Snippet

Exclusive, elegant, and unique, the main feature tourists love about Hydra is that no vehicles are allowed on theisland. Only donkeys, some horses… or your own feet! The lack of cars creates an environment free of exhaust fumes and the hustle of traffic, curating a destination that is both laid-back, deeply entangled with its traditional roots, and a true escape from the loud demands of modernity.

With tight-knit alleyways, mansions of stone, donkeys, churches, and boutiques, the scenery is nothing short of a fairytale. Kaminia is a picture-perfect town shouldering a shallow inlet. Quiet, tranquil, and a 15-minute promenade from Hydra town, this village is a glimpse into the traditional lifestyle of locals. With no souvenir shops in the village, you can truly immerse yourself in the culture, and local delicacies. Not to mention, the stunning scenery of Kaminia is concurrent with the rest of the island: balmy blue-green waters and white-washed stone villages scattered up the gentle slopes of the arid landscape.

Easy to visit in a da

This island is rich in naval tradition, making it a prime cultural location for adventurers.

If you love historical places, the 

Museum of Historical Archives and the Bastions at Hydra

Hydra is rich in religious significance with around 300 churches and 6 monasteries waiting for you to explore. Enjoy the resonant chime of the church bells that splash the island throughout the day.

With sloping terrains riddled with greenery, this romantic island of blue waters and stone-clad architecture blends with the quiet and serene character of the island. With only the birdsong and the clack of donkey hooves, reconnect with your inner peace as you relax and rejuvenate on this exquisite Saronic island.