SELL ME THIS PEN!!!

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Sell Me This Pen

Sell Me This Pen
INT. INSIDE MALL – GROUND FLOOR – AFTERNOON
A young student, RAVI (18), is coming out of the mall, walking at a leisurely pace.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (calm voice)
This is Ravi. He is a college student, roaming in the mall to pass time after bunking college.
SALESMAN (O.S.) (enthusiastically)
SIR! May I have a minute of your time?
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Normally, Ravi would have said “no,” but he was hungry for some entertainment.
RAVI
Sure. What are you selling?
The salesman explains what he is “selling.” Ravi pretends to be interested.
RAVI (hiding a smirk)
Yeah, all that is okay, but… can you sell me this pen?
Ravi presents a pen from his pocket.
SALESMAN (caught off guard)
I’m sorry, what?
NARRATOR (V.O.)
A car comes to a screeching halt in the distance.
A car indeed comes to a screeching halt (O.S.).
RAVI (still hiding a smirk)
Can you sell me this pen?
His tone is almost challenging.
SALESMAN
I suppose so…
Still reeling from the change of subject.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
As if you had an option.
RAVI
Great!
The salesman takes a moment, looking at the ordinary pen, and with renewed enthusiasm…
SALESMAN (contd.)
SIR! Can you write something for me on the notepad, please?
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Another “Wolf of Wall Street” reference…
Ravi takes out his smartphone, opens the Notes app, and looks at the salesman expectantly. (Beat.)
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The salesman is probably screaming internally, although he should have seen it coming.
SALESMAN (internally)
WHY ME?
Composing himself…
SALESMAN
Sir, do you need a pen?
RAVI
Yes.
SALESMAN
Sir, do you have a pen?
RAVI
Yes.
(Again, a beat.)
SALESMAN
How many?
RAVI (asking himself)
Nine, maybe.
SALESMAN (internally)
WHY?
SALESMAN
Bet they aren’t as good as this one.
RAVI (rising to the bait)
No, they are.
SALESMAN (questioning)
Are they really?
NARRATOR (V.O.)
He extends a hand in which Ravi puts all his pens. Why? you may ask, and the answer is simple: Ravi is stupid.
SALESMAN
SIR! Can you write something for me on the notepad, please?
RAVI
Ye—
(realizes) RAVI (contd.)
Well played. Can I have them back?
SALESMAN (jovially)
Sure, for 9.99 per piece.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Sometimes in life, we do something stupid—stupid decisions that cause a financial dent. You need someone who stops you right before you do something stupid, financially. Save your emergency fund with us, XYZ Liquid Fund. T&C applied.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (contd.)
And as Ravi walked away, one pen lighter and slightly wiser, he realized something. The salesman… had been selling pens all along.
ALT. NARRATOR (V.O.) Sometimes in life, we do something stupid—incredibly stupid. You need someone who stops you right before you do something stupid. Who better to stop you than yourself, with a little nudge from us? XYZ Caffeine Candy—hits you with reality, like post-nut clarity.
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Posted Dec 20, 2024

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