Zia's Personal Rebirth and Reflection

I am realizing that I might have waited for this moment all my life. Leaving my past, my whole identity behind. My soul’s near purpose was never to ‘find’ myself- it was always to ‘create’ myself. Away from all identities that the world tried to push on me like it does on everyone else. Since the beginning of my life, I haven’t felt alive more than I feel alive today. And you know, it’s not that “open-heart, light-inducing” alive, it’s a secretive, slow-burning, aliveness in me. I feel normal, 2-3 tears in my eyes and writing this letter mainly to myself, saying goodbye to my old self- Sia. And giving birth to Zia. (The ones around me think that changing my name is a dramatic episode for ‘being cool’ but they don’t know how much it means to me and how much I needed this).

The world is controlling, it controls you without it even trying. I am mostly a motivational speaker in front of my friends but today at least, I just wanna say what I feel instead of preaching what I can’t help myself from doing to the ones around me.

A rebirth is a subtle but profound shift in your being- it takes place after innumerable tiny, almost unnoticed shifts in your mind. The key is to listen to your intuition. I am just a 22 year old girl but I feel like I am a very old soul, who’s stuck in a world which asks her to choose between countless realities, but I know that’s not just me and there are so many people in this world who feel a deep void inside them, some disconnection from reality which screams “I am not this”. My page is mostly for those.

But as a Gemini and professionally chaotic but semi-trained ADHDer, I love to talk about music, astronomy, the planets, astrology, pschyology, philosophy, religion, substance use with a tiny bit of Gen-Z sarcasm in it. I hate nothing except dirt in my house. I love to blast music in my ears and dance like a crazy person, play car games like a maniac while smoking weed and listening to techno music. I loooove reading and observing people’s minds. I don’t talk much, but I love being asked questions.

See you on the fun side of internet, With Stardust Zia