Challenge
Mrs. Carson Speaks English as a second language. She was nominated for 'Teacher of the Year' for the first time in the 23 years she has taught at this elementary school. The admin wanted a nomination letter addressed to all teachers from each nominee. Upon reading, all teachers will cast their vote. She was at a disadvantage, because her English was not as strong as the other two nominees.
Calm
She sent me her first draft of the nomination letter. Like any great 2nd grade teacher, her thesis statement told me everything I needed to know: She didn't want to win so much as she wanted to express gratitude. Beautiful and brilliant. But...I'm sorry, I wanted her to win. It just so happens that gratitude is the way to win. It's like she already knew how to win without caring...hmmm.
Why would gratitude win, you might ask?
Execution
It's all about your audience's relationship to the piece.
In this case, I knew that the other nominated teachers would be listing their accomplishments like trophies on a shelf. Now, I firmly believe that teachers should be applauded for the thankless job they do.
But they're all selfless, and they all deserve to be teacher of the year. So most teachers will secretly be thinking:
- "Yea, I spend 20 extra hours a week tutoring my kids too!"
- "I spend 30% of my meager paycheck on my students too!" (Teachers really do this)
So, knowing that these teachers are the audience, and they all deserve to win, what do we do?
Make all readers feel like they're winning this together
In a traditional relationship to audience, we're observing/reading a document that explains someone else's accomplishments.
For a deeper relationship to audience, we can write a letter of gratitude endowing all teachers with the right to be celebrated.
(Again, the best part is that Mrs. Carson naturally started with gratitude)
I rewrote her examples, added a LOT more of her conversational tone, addressed it directly to the reader and included everyone in the victory by using "We", "Us", and "You".
...SHE WON TEACHER OF THE YEAR!!
Logistics
Timeline: 3 hours Budget: $355 Deliverables: • One emotional letter of gratitude written in the voice of a teacher that didn't care (but I think we all care, hehe).
The Actual Letter
