6 days ago

Transforming a generic outreach email into a direct, benefit-focused message.

Dear Mr. Johnson, I hope this message finds you well. I’m reaching out in regard to our newly released Data Analytics as a Service platform, designed to support your organization’s digital transformation goals and unlock actionable insights through an enhanced data ecosystem.

The copy equivalent of a firm handshake and no eye contact.

Entirely void of intent or identity.

Could have been written by a toaster.

Hey [First Name],

If your dashboards look like a Jackson Pollock painting of metrics, we should talk.

We’ve seen 20%+ efficiency boosts just by connecting the dots your data’s already sitting on.

Got 30 minutes for a walk-through? I’ll bring the charts, you bring the curiosity.