But How Do I Actually Take Care of Myself? Realistic Self- Care

The common image when people hear the words self-care are bubble baths, spa treatments and maybe eating chocolate cake or a whole pint of ice cream. And while these have their place, are they really self-care? It’s a term that doesn’t mean what we think it means *wink wink*. Sure, it may bring up fun images from rom-com montages or idealistic versions of what caring for yourself looks like, but it’s not real. 

Self- Care, actually taking care of your baseline needs is much less glamorous than our imaginations or media make it out to be. And for some of us included, sometimes even doing the bare minimum for yourself, in this hyper-busy day and age, feels impossible. 

So instead of writing a self-care post that tells you to just get a massage or eat some sweet treats (even though you should totally do those things every once and a while! Don’t hear what I’m not saying), I want to write something a little different. Something that gives a realistic intro into what basic adulting self-care is. Take it from me, self-care is hard especially when you are already struggling but true self-care is so worth it and can transform your life! 

 

            In a world that seeks productivity, caring for yourself is often not the goal or priority. We focus on work, family, maybe school, and the next step on the path before us. And yes, I do say we, because this isn’t something abstract for me, I deal with this too! 

 

            So, in a world where taking care of ourselves is at the bottom of our list, how do we make it more central to our lives?

 

            The cliche but true answer is…. baby steps. 

 

            You can’t make real and lasting change overnight. Maybe that works for some people, but statistically less than 10% of New Years resolutions fail and 95% of diets fail, the mindset around change that we have also had to change as we want to make progress. An all-or-nothing mindset doesn’t really help, instead, think of going 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. You may try to make changes every day, and some of them may stick… and some won’t. But the important thing is that you keep trying, and over time, those steps and what may look like failure, turn into progress. 

 

But what does this have to do with self-care? 

It means starting small, giving yourself achievable things to do, and getting ok with not doing them perfectly every time. Get comfortable with forgetting or only doing the little things and keep going! 

 

            So now for some ideas of little steps to start your self-care journey: 

 

●      Set your alarm for 15min earlier in the morning, use that time to enjoy your coffee and maybe not go right to your phone, or whatever you usually do to start your day.

●      Make your bed, it’s a great start to a day and helps make your room a cleaner, less cluttered space! 

●      Eat 3 meals a day (the number of times I forget to do this is astonishing)! 

●      Get outside, even if that’s just sitting on your steps, a short walk to the car or work or even opening a window. Being outside is great for your mood and for your internal clock. 

●      Let yourself have a longer shower/bath, maybe it’s not a fancy spa day but a slightly longer shower or bath at the end of the day is fantastic. And if you want to try a fun way of waking up, turn the shower too cold in the morning! 

●      Get in touch with someone you care about whether this is in-person or over the phone, this is a great way to care for yourself socially and to help boost your mood. 

●      Stretch or do some yoga, this is a great way to release tension from a long day and to set up for success for the next day. 

 

But keep in mind, these are just a few ideas and self-care vary from person to person! 

 

The above list is just a starting place with some things I like to do when I need to prioritize myself more than I have been. But it’s just that, a starting place. And it’s also my starting place, yours may be totally different! 

 

True self-care isn’t a one-size fits all solution or an equation that works the same for everyone. What people need varies based upon a ton of different aspects of one's life like available time, family/work requirements, abilities, age, class, location you name it! 

 

So, what does that mean, ultimately that you have to figure out what you need… which is way harder than just finding a list of random self-care ideas and trying to incorporate them into your life. 

 

For me, this has looked like hitting absolute rock bottom mental health-wise. I would have (and occasionally still do have) days where I couldn’t get out of bed and where the simplest tasks seem impossible to conquer. So sometimes self-care just looks like getting up, getting outside, eating something, and taking a shower. On my worst days, that is often my baseline of care. And with time and ups and downs, you can figure out what it is you need to feel taken care of, even on your worst days.

 

But on my best days, self-care looks radically different. It can be trying something new, exploring, or achieving personal goals with writing and fitness. And of course, all the things I would do even on my lowest days, the stuff we would normally take for granted. Yet all of that is just to say that even my own idea of self-care fluctuates and yours will too.

 

 I recommend doing some journaling if you want to explore this more, think about what makes you feel like a day is successful, on good days and bad days? What makes a day unsuccessful or productive for you? (this is your definition, not anyone else's) What would you like to include in your day-to-day life, what would you like to stop doing? 

Explore baby! This is a brand-new journey you are going on, or maybe a journey you’ve already started. Like all journeys, it’s not always gonna be perfect but you’ll learn a lot on the way. But here are some actionable steps to get you started!!

 

●      Find something from the list you want to incorporate into your life (or come up with your own)

●      Journal about what self-care looks like on good days and bad days, what makes a day successful for you, and what would you like to include/ or take out of your life. 

●      Build your baseline and incorporate it into your life!

●      Know that what works for you, won’t work for everyone! Your self-care is yours alone and just has to work for one person… you!! 

 

Overall, self-care is a bit of a buzzword that has a lot of actual meaning behind it. Sometimes actually caring for ourselves can get lost in the ideas of spa days, long baths, and face masks. And while those things aren’t bad, real self-care is a lot less glamorous and takes time and effort to incorporate into your life.

            But once self-care becomes a part of your life, you’ll reap the rewards. It creates a happier life, designed exactly for you! It can reduce stress and anxiety, provide stability and lead to success in many other areas of your life! 

 

            So what are you waiting for, start your true Self- Care journey today! Pick one of the steps above and get started, you won’t regret it! :)