Building Grit and Resilience from Disappointments

Taylor Joy Lagpacan: “Hi Taylor. Apologies for such a delayed response. But I finally heard back from our Hiring Manager, and she said your interview went super well, but they decided to move forward with another candidate…”

“Taylor, how’ve you been? Hey, thanks for coming in last week for an interview. Hearing about your experience in coordinating some church events was actually really helpful in understanding how you work effectively, efficiently, and independently. But we did decide to move forward with another candidate…”

“Dear Taylor, thank you for your interest in our company. At this time, we have decided to move forward with another candidate who has the qualifications that our company needs at this time. Once again, thank you for your interest, and we wish you the best of luck.”

It has been 10 months since I left my corporate job.

I never thought I would ever leave a job without having another one already lined up, and if it weren’t for the fact that I still live at home with my parents, I probably would have kept going with that job.

But my parents did see how the three hours of daily commute and the lack of passion for the work I was doing left me tired and burnt out. So, they encouraged me to look elsewhere. And I’m so thankful to have such loving and supportive parents.

But the thing I’m learning more and more these days is that wanting a new job and actually looking for one are two very different things, especially in today’s economy. So many times, I would reach the interview stage of a hiring process, so hopeful that this was going to be the one for me.

But then, I would eventually receive the dreaded rejection email. I can honestly say that today’s job market is rocky, to say the very least.

And this is not the first time I’ve experienced disappointment. But experiencing one disappointment on top of another… right on top of another… Yeah, that’s kind of new to me.

For example, there is a job that I applied and interviewed for just earlier this year and it was perfect for me. It would have worked well with my schedule, offered really reasonable compensation, and would help me reach my long-term career goals. What more could I ask for?

But I never heard back from that company after our interview. And I cried.

Wanting something so much with all your heart and then being told that you’re just not qualified enough, not experienced enough is one of the most frustrating feelings that anyone could ever go through. It makes you feel really disappointed in yourself, and it feels like a reminder that you’re just not good enough.

What... what is wrong with me?

But before you brush me off as just another Gen Z unable to deal with disappointment and has no grit, let me give you some insight into what it’s like to be a young adult in this day and age.

We live in this state of just constant overload, do we not? There’s an overabundance of everything, and let me explain how this makes things kind of difficult.

Because with so much information out there nowadays, there is now this expectation on a lot of us, but especially our generation, to make the right choices, to figure things out on our own… But what a lot of people tend to overlook is the fact that this creates a lot of overwhelming pressure on us inside.

And now, thanks to social media, you get to watch us make decisions in real time. You’re watching us struggle with our disappointments, struggle with our failures. And you even watch us fall flat on our faces because we are the generation who is willing to share it with all of you.

But what you may not always see is the work that is happening inside of us.

Like the resilience that we’re building with each new disappointment that we have to face. It’s helping us build grit, the kind of grit that keeps us determined to reach our goals no matter how many times we may fall. I’m realizing through firsthand experience that the difference between people who give up and people who soldier on through disappointments is grit. And I want that for myself.

I also realized that unemployment gave me the time to help my family in ways that I would not have been able to otherwise. I was able to teach my younger brother how to drive, help him get his driver’s license, and help my youngest brother get to and from school, so that my parents didn’t have to worry about it as much. So yes, if you couldn’t already tell, my family has also been such a fulfilling part of my life more and more these days.

I know that God has good plans for my future, even if I may not know what they are yet. But for now, I’m going to be okay with focusing on the lessons that God has been teaching me these past ten months.

Lessons like: Trust in God’s timing. Looking back at my life I realize that God has made every single change in my life come at the perfect time. So if He’s done this for me literally throughout my entire life, surely, He can and will do it again. I’ve just got to be patient.

Another lesson: Everyone’s life journey is going to look different and that is okay. Up until last year, I was very stuck believing that the best possible career path had to look a certain way. Especially when I was in school, seeing my friends advance to the next stage in their lives made me feel like there were these deadlines that I had to meet in order to advance in my own life. But now that I’m forced to slow down and reevaluate my career goals, I realize that everyone’s life journey looks different. And that’s okay because what truly matters is how each of us makes the most of our current opportunities that we already have right in front of us.

And lastly, finding peace in patience. When I was younger, I was without a doubt the most impatient person you would ever meet. I felt like everything was kind of like a race, and I just had to win.

But now, I realize that rushing through everything in life really prevents you from enjoying the process. I mean, how can someone enjoy the views if they’re too busy speeding to their destination? As cliche as it may sound, there is actually something really amazing in simply waking up and finding peace and joy in the beauty of a new day. It’s like a reminder that each new day is a gift from God. Time is a gift from God. And because of that, I can take my time, and still feel like a winner at heart.

So the next time I experience failure, rejection, heartbreak or what-have-you, I’m going to remember disappointments are not the end of the road. Rather, these are opportunities to trust God and pay attention to the signs that He is placing along my path, so that He can guide me to the bright future that He has in store for me. Thank you.