Opinion article: I Saw Myself Through My Friend - A Reflection
Laz Laz
I Saw Myself Through My Friend
3 min read
·
2 days ago
Maybe a friend is another version of me.
I saw a dark side of myself reflected in my friend —
a side I’ve been trying hard to hide.
And every time I admit its existence, I feel like a terrible person.
All these thoughts were triggered by something as simple as a dinner gathering.
It should have been a joyful night, but I couldn’t fully feel the joy.
Beneath the laughter, something heavy kept tugging at my mind.
My world may not be as wide as I imagined
Why do we make friends?
Growing up, teachers told us to “make many friends,”
to broaden our world, learn social skills, absorb knowledge —
as if friendship itself was a part of the education system.
And for a long time, I believed that too.
I treated “making friends” as a required step in life.
Until I realized something:
Maybe that belief was overly idealistic.
People often say, “Knowing many people means you have a broad worldview.”
But that’s not true.
Human emotions are too complex — we cannot possibly form deep bonds with everyone.
And we rarely meet people who are truly different from us.
In fact, the opposite happens more often.
The heart is honest.
Our behavior reveals everything.
If not, how could the idea of “echo chambers” even exist?
The moment we speak to someone, we are already evaluating them:
Do we get along?
Do I like this person?
Are they interesting or boring?
Do I feel comfortable?
Whether someone “passes” or not is always up to us.
Under such conditions, how can we truly step outside our circle?
Reality is far more limiting than we imagine.
Mirror Theory: Friends as mirrors
Friends are mirrors.
Each friend reflects a specific aspect of us — a trait we’ve externalized without noticing.
Like characters in an anime, each person represents one exaggerated part of ourselves.
Living in one single kind of “voice” for too long makes us blind and overconfident.
Conflicts between groups prove that echo chambers don’t create harmony.
“Everyone thinks this way — why don’t you?”
“He’s weird.”
“She doesn’t get it.”
These are not about right or wrong.
They are clashes of perspective.
What’s interesting is:
We are each other’s mirrors.
Most of the time, what we recognize in others is actually our own reflection.
We call it “understanding,” but often it’s just self-dialogue in disguise.
And during moments when we feel irritated or uncomfortable,
the mirror becomes even clearer —
showing a part of ourselves we don’t want to admit.
Facing one’s own shadow
During the gathering, I felt annoyed because my friend changed the plans several times.
I couldn’t fully enjoy the moment.
The irritation lasted for days.
Until I traced it back and realized:
I used to be that person. Maybe I still am.
The moment I realized this, I felt ashamed.
If I’ve done the same thing before, why was I so quick to judge my friend?
Maybe they were influenced by me.
Maybe we are more alike than I thought.
So instead of blaming them,
I took it as a reminder:
Be more aware of myself, and slowly change the parts I dislike.
People tend to ignore their own flaws but feel disgusted when the same flaws appear —
magnified — in someone else.
We forget that the part we reject in others…
is also part of us.
Maybe that’s what friendship truly is:
Mutual recognition, and the courage to see each other’s flaws.
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Posted Dec 11, 2025
Reflection on friendships revealing personal flaws and mutual recognition.
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Oct 5, 2023 - Oct 7, 2023
