How I Overcame Fear and Took the Leap into Independent Work

🕘 It’s 9 PM. I’m on hour 60 for the week and it’s only Wednesday. I have 10 meetings tomorrow, 3 that may actually be necessary. Today, my boss insisted on giving me a tutorial on how to do something that I mastered 6 years ago, his boss just unloaded another project on me, and I’m doing at least 6 unnecessary tasks originating solely from bureaucracy.

My capacity is zero, but I’m constantly told that I need to do more to get ahead. I bear witness to others glorifying work hours by sacrificing family time, joking about the last vacation they took 5 years ago and micromanaging their employees for fear that something will go wrong and derail their reputation.

💻 So, here I am in front of my laptop at 9 PM, trying to check one more task off my list instead of taking the time I really need to recharge.

This is what burnout looks like. Sounds miserable, right?

It was.

And yet, it took me 9 months to take the leap. To quit and transition to independent work. To work on projects and in a way that was right for me.

Why did it take so long? How does someone with 10+ years of experience in challenging and demanding environments, an MBA, and an entrepreneurial spirit not make moves sooner?

😨 Fear.

Fear that I would fail, that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t have what it takes. If you’re convinced you won’t succeed, why try?

We spend so much time being conditioned to do what we are “supposed” to do that we often don’t stop to consider what is right for us. Even when we do, it’s terrifying and bucks societal norms. So, we tend to bury the inkling of an idea and tell ourselves “it will get better.”

These norms and your life experiences can create personal rules, attitudes, and assumptions that dictate how we see the world. These are often biased and cause us to see ourselves in a negative light.

Confronting these thoughts and even thinking about taking a risk can be uncomfortable.

❤ Since I took the leap last year and quit my 9-5, the outpouring of support and anecdotes of inspiration stemming from my story has been overwhelming.

It turns out – this fear and self-sabotage are normal!

Many of us struggle with the same unhelpful thoughts every day. Never mind when facing a decision like leaving the safety of a traditional 9-5 job.

I believe everyone should have the choice to work the way they want so I’m sharing 5 strategies that helped me overcome my fear and take the leap into independent work.

I was a square peg trying to fit myself in a round hole. Morphing who I was and what I cared about to fit into the mold of a traditional career path.

When you start to think about becoming independent, let the real you out. I didn’t learn this until after I took the leap, but it only affirmed my decision.

You have unique skills, strengths, and experiences that will allow you to make your mark, with or without your 9-5 employer. When you acknowledge every part of who you are, you’ll be able to forge a path forward that is right for you.

Being authentic is the foundation to build a successful independent journey.

One of the nagging thoughts that still gets to me is the statement “I’m not good enough” or “X catastrophe will occur.” You can imagine how heightened those thoughts were as I decided if I should move into independent work.

If you find yourself stuck in a circle of negative thoughts, take a step back and look at the facts. The worst-case scenario is usually the least likely outcome.

So, next time you catch yourself thinking “I’m not good enough” or “why bother trying when it won’t work,” take a step back and look at the evidence. You may be surprised at what you find.

I struggle with compliments. Some might think that’s a bit odd. How could you have a hard time with compliments?

But when your default is to think you’re not worthy of receiving them, it’s just shining an uncomfortable light on something that you find hard to believe.

This is a very normal feeling for anyone that struggles with placing unreasonably high expectations on themselves (perfectionism) or has low self-esteem. Zulie Rane sums up the situation perfectly:

“When someone compliments you, this jars with the truth you hold about yourself. It’s uncomfortable for your mind…” so, you deflect the compliment with some excuse or another to downplay it.

“Just like that, the pressure’s off. This plays into the last factor: high expectations. Because you have low self-esteem…you want to shirk any expectations as soon as possible. So you respond to the situation in a way that lets you off the hook if you don’t succeed next time.”

It’s a never-ending cycle. You set expectations too high, don’t believe in your capabilities, and then avoid trying to meet those unreasonably high expectations.

People are generally good. The odds of someone going out of their way to give you a compliment that is not genuine without being prompted are very slim.

When someone tells you that you did a good job or love your work, believe them, and believe in yourself!

I was great at what I did. I was effective, a model employee. Top 10% of a ~50,000 employee company feels good. But external praise only goes so far until your back in the cycle, working harder and harder for the same level of praise.

Breaking that cycle means losing the feeling that comes from external praise and big titles. Losing that external source of status is terrifying when it's your main source of good feeling.

Fight through the fear. True contentedness comes from within.

Look inward to redefine what success and achievement look like. Don’t compare yourself to other well-known names in the independent or freelancer world.

Set your own rules.

When I looked within, I realized that big titles, promotions, and commendations didn’t really make me happy. Working towards my goals gives me more contentment than any external praise I’ve ever received.

Your version of success will be very different from others' definitions of success. Focus on achieving a life that you are content to live.

It can be easy to get caught up in the “shoulds” and “musts” we so often encounter in society.

I “should” go to the gym, I “must” put in extra work, I “shouldn’t” read a book instead of work. The problem is, these statements are defined by external, societal factors.

Before transitioning to independent work, I was a victim of many “shoulds” and “musts.” It creates an unhealthy dynamic with all aspects of your life and can actually lower your motivations rather than drive you to do more.

If you need a day off, take it. Enjoy it. Treasure it. Don’t spend the entire time punishing yourself for not doing everything else on your to-do list.

This realization allowed me to reset expectations for myself and see that life is made up of many different achievements, not just my career.

Acknowledging that my profession shouldn’t take up 90% of my life’s efforts pushed me over the edge and into the world of independent work.

Becoming an independent worker changed my life. You have the power to change yours too!

🌟Stay true to your values and motivations, give your experience the credit it deserves, and believe in yourself!🌟