Relationship or just a text-chain?

As humans, forming relationships and maintaining them have been an integral part of our lifestyle ever since God created Adam and Eve. Invention of social networking and social media has helped a great deal in doing so. Now, a rant session with your best friend, is at your dispense, any time; all the uncles can get away with forgetting their anniversaries or the wife’s birthday because they have Facebook to remember it for them; and for the corporate people, a dreadful meeting with the boss is just an email away.

Even as social networking has helped in formulating and protecting relationships, it also has deeply damaging effects. Today’s world is largely virtual and a pandemic that got every person on the planet tied to their homes did not help the case. Although, social networking sites have been a huge help in this situation, there’s hardly any room left for the old timey, face-to-face conversations. 

If you’re a self-conscious person, you might have the experience of seeing someone else’s partner spoiling them with expensive gifts, vacations and parties and then when you look at your end you either see no partner at all or a useless blob of flesh, blood and bones. These comparisons are inevitable when you are active on social media and it’s practically impossible to not be on at least one social media platform in this day and age. This definitely affects your relationships as well as your personal life significantly. It becomes difficult to find happiness in what you have when you see all these elaborate schemes going on around you, even if all you ever wanted is right in front of your eyes. A rise of expectations is a definite consequence and your judgement of what you want in relationships, romantic or not, may become highly irrational.

Sometimes, it’s the most random underrated things that touch our hearts in a way that not everyone understands. But, finding those who do, has become so very easy with social networks. All you need to do is search for a keyword and you’ll have people with the same interests as you, right at your fingertips. Forming friendships this way is also fun because even though you may have never met this person or live miles away from them, it’s super easy to strike a conversation with them. As time goes by, topics of conversation extend from being just about common interests to life concerns and personal matters. On the surface these relationships seem perfect. What could be better than having a person to talk about things you love as well as the things that concern you? But, these relationships and the emotional intimacy involved can be an illusion. They come with a shelf life. They are very delicate. Anything very basic, like say, the other person choosing to spend some time living the non-virtual life, can be the end of it all.

People are always chasing ways to express their love, respect and gratitude for someone. Posting on social media has become a very trendy way to do so. As easy as it has made our lives, it has also made the traditional ways of conveying your messages via physical actions, almost extinct. Doing things like getting the person some flowers, or making them a card or showing up at their door with their favorite snack and spending some time with them is an extraordinary experience. While the story you posted for your friend’s birthday lasts only 24 hours, a thoughtful gift would elicit a happiness that would last a lifetime. The post you made for your mom on Mother’s Day is going to be there on your feed, neglected, but instead if you give your mom a nice warm hug and tell her how important and valuable she is to you, she’d know that her life’s work has been worth it, she’ll feel loved.

The last time I was at a dinner table that was completely cell phone-free feels like an eternity ago. Everyone’s always got something to do with it, someone to text, some video to watch. Why does hanging out with friends have to be about clicking pictures for the gram? In an effort to present ourselves on the social networking sites in an aesthetic way, we have forgotten how living in a moment works. We are all always so deeply involved in this virtual life we create for ourselves that the reality becomes unimportant to us. Looking back at memories all we remember is the lens of a cell phone camera. We look at these beautiful pictures that were supposed to represent a time, a memory, a day we spent loving ourselves and those around us, but all it ends up being is just a log on instagram.

On a final note, we have become completely dependent on social networks and social media. So much so that, all our lives are, is social media. Relationships, one of the most important aspects of being a human, is being badly injured. The sheer concept of conversations and talking feelings out has been completely wiped out unless it’s in a therapist’s office. We can convince ourselves as much as we want that texting has helped protect our relationships but, the truth is that we are just bound to it. Nothing can ever compare with a real conversation, with face-to-face communication. Social networks have not only affected our relationships, but have ruined the one thing that makes us all human; the ability to verbally express feelings.

By: Nayana Nair