Notes of a Traveler, excerpt

A therapeutic story about the father-son relationship

"Why? - said to himself A, waking up in the tent. - Why did yesterday pass? Just for nothing?" It seemed logical to him that if he didn't do anything to affect the filling of the next day, the day was wasted. The domino principle was set in motion in his mind: yesterday wasted means no meaning in today, today no meaning in tomorrow. 

With these thoughts, A was emptying himself, and literally despairing.

It began a long time ago. So long ago, in fact, that when I remembered the lineup in September of the first grade, A saw a guy with sour "cheeks" who did not want to participate in it the way his mother and school authorities had planned. 

A's mother and father tried very hard and made sure that their son was fed, clothed, and shod, even in the scarce 90s.

But A was not happy with the result of these efforts, to put it mildly, and for a long time showed with all his appearance and behavior that his wishes and thoughts about how he saw the world - were not fully taken into account. It went on like that until the end of school. And he got used to this sense of himself. 

But when St was born, A remembered his feelings from childhood and realized that he would fulfill the promise he had made to himself: "when I grow up, I will never behave with my children the way my parents behaved with me."

A serious question arose. How do we make sure that St grows up feeling needed by the world, and that the world needs him? How do we make sure that St gets the habit of enjoying life? Life not only now, but also in his future. 

A has long known the wisdom, it is impossible to change the world, it is possible to change yourself. This wisdom often surfaced in his reflections on life, but it never came to fruition. 

A decided to distract himself and remember something good. The first thing that came to mind was a previous dream about traveling with St. And then it hit him! He remembered the dandelion, and what it takes to change. In order to change, you have to want it!!!

What would it take to want to change and be an example for St? Asking this question to himself, A imagined St's future in a way that was not specific about who and where St would be. He imagined just an adult who, when asked "Are you happy?" instantly and with a smile on his face, answers: "Yes! I am happy!"

It turns out that it was St's future that inspired A to change himself. 

Noting this interesting thought for himself, A noticed that the day had already flown by with its usual traveler events. Preparing for bed, A felt for the first time in a long time that the day had not passed in vain. These thoughts stirred and brought a non-frequent but happy smile to his face.