Managing The Elderly Narcissist

It’s never easy to deal with narcissists, and they can become even more difficult with age. Their self-centeredness and need for validation often become worse as they get older.

People are often advised to go no-contact with a narcissist and not to interact with them at all. However, what do you do if you don’t really have a choice? You might be a caregiver for a sick, elderly narcissist or they could be your parents, and you still want to keep contact with them.

There are certain strategies you can employ to manage the elderly narcissist:

Set clear boundaries and communicate them in an assertive and calm manner to the narcissist. You’ll have to be firm in upholding them, as the elderly narcissist will likely test your boundaries, as they will want to remain in control.

Don’t engage in power struggles with the narcissist. Narcissists thrive on control, and they will manipulate others to get their way. Keep in mind that it’s not possible to change their behavior and that you’ll simply be wasting your time and energy, by getting upset about their negative behavior. This will also give them what they want, as they are in control of you if they can make you behave in a certain way. Focus on your emotional balance and how you manage your reactions to them, as this will help you protect your mental health.

Acknowledge the narcissist’s feelings, but without condoning unhealthy behavior. Offer empathy when it’s appropriate, but remain firm in retaining your boundaries.

You can attempt to redirect their self-centered conversations away from themselves to a more balanced narrative. They tend to dominate conversations, but you might be able to engage with them on a topic that interests both of you.

Remember that the narcissist’s behavior won’t change, so you need to manage your own expectations and reactions. You can’t control anything they do or say, but you can manage your responses and emotional well-being.

It can be draining to deal with an elderly narcissist, so you should look for support from friends, family members, or a therapist with whom you can share your stress and frustrations. Make sure you have time for self-care activities such as exercise or hobbies so that you can preserve your emotional well-being.

If you were abused by a narcissistic parent during childhood, it’s probably in the best interest of both of you, that you don’t take care of this person. Prioritize your mental health and attempt to find a more suitable caretaker.

It’s important to manage your expectations when interacting with an elderly narcissist. Dealing with them with empathy is important, but you need strong boundaries in place. Seek support if you need it. Ultimately, it’s vital to prioritize your own well-being to maintain a healthy relationship with the elderly narcissist.