The Secrets That Have Made My Marriage Awesome (The Art of Love

Chapter 1

Lovemaking Is a Skill

If you find this book, your perception about sex is about to take a shift. I did not write this book to judge your ideology and your beliefs about this inborn impulse of a man or woman called sexual intercourse but to provide a way forward. In this book, sex will be largely replaced by lovemaking because they are 2 different realities. One is physical while the other transcends mere physical activity.

Skimming through this book will expose you to some practical steps that would change your love life and view sex as one of the most profound human activities. This book will also smartly blend a divine averment with earthly reality, thereby arriving at a reasonable discourse on the importance of lovemaking in marriage.

For you to be here, I believe you are mature enough to be open to some realities about sex and some terminologies. Some practical steps would be expounded. Problems would be identified, and solutions would be proffered to them.

As a very inquisitive person, I am yet to see a known culture in the whole wide world, where sex is obscure as a biological attribute of everyday living. It might be largely clandestine, but it is as relevant as life itself.

Arguably, love and sex are the starting points of the never-ending reproduction that littered the earth with over 8 billion human souls. Without sex, it is impossible to have over 8 billion souls on earth right now.

Sex in human life, is one of the most mutual activities. Although it was much of a secretive activity, it’s so spontaneous in our subconscious mind. Hence, our thoughts are even louder than we think.

American sexologist, Alfred Kinsey once said and I quote “We are sexual beings from birth until death, and it is important to embrace and explore that aspect of our existence”. If we are to agree with what Kinsey said, we can see that we are extremely hyperactive creatures when it comes to sex. Despite man’s strong inclination for sexual intercourse, sex is overrated if it will not metamorphose into lovemaking.

The Holy Scriptures slightly shows what lovemaking could do to a couple when it says in the gospel of Matthew 10, verses 8 through 9 that “the two shall become one flesh, so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” As direct as this scripture appears, it has various applications to marriage.

What does that mean if you’ve become one flesh with your partner? Maybe it means her feelings are now your feelings. Her demands should be your demands also. There is a sexual union that needs to be formed. This is why sex is overrated if it will not metamorphose into lovemaking.

The distinction between sex and lovemaking is pivotal. While sex may fulfill physical desires, lovemaking transcends mere physicality; it intertwines emotional connection, intimacy, and passion. In essence, lovemaking encompasses the holistic union of two individuals, fostering a deep sense of understanding and closeness.

Sex is an act while lovemaking is a skill. Not all sexual activities are lovemaking, but every lovemaking is a sexual act taken with affectionate selflessness. If a skill is the ability to do something very well, then lovemaking is one.

A hooker could sleep with 3 men in a night. But does it mean she is in love with them? No. Sadly, in marriages, some couples only have sex for their ulterior motives like harlots. Sex is meant to be lovemaking not just a physical activity. The distinction between sex and lovemaking is that lovemaking is more selfless and mutual than the former.

The highly revered servant of the Most High, Apostle Paul, a celibate who singlehandedly wrote 13 books out of the New Testament, even took lovemaking with great significance when he was writing to the Corinthians.

“Each man should have sexual relations with his wife, and each woman with her husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1 Cor. 7:2-5)

Lovemaking is not spontaneous but a conscious effort and that is why it can be learnt. It is more than just the physicality of sex but it transcends to satisfying the mutuality demands of partners. Lovemaking can play a role in increasing intimacy between two partners. Lovemaking has been linked to positive changes like a lower divorce rate. It has helped in reducing stress and pain.

Great marriages are often founded on the bedrock of passionate and intimate lovemaking. Lovemaking brings happiness, stress relief, self-image, and intimacy. The beautiful part of it is that it can be learned. You can make love to your wife and not just have sex with her.

Lovemaking involves a profound level of communication, vulnerability, and trust between partners. It is an expression of love, desire, and commitment that goes beyond the superficial.

Make love to your wife, don’t just have sex with her

Selfless sex to satisfy the sexual appetite of your spouse is lovemaking. I will teach you practical steps that have worked in my marriage and have made it an amazing love journey throughout this book. Be open-minded to see them and use them because they work wonders. If they work for me, sure they’ll work for you.

LEARNING THE LOVEMAKING SKILL

We are talking about a skill that fosters intimacy on multiple levels, from the physical to the emotional and even the spiritual. Through lovemaking, couples can explore and understand each other's deepest desires, fears, and vulnerabilities, creating a sense of unity and solidarity that is unmatched by any other experience.

Moreover, great lovemaking can catalyze enhancing other aspects of the relationship. The emotional and physical satisfaction derived from intimate connection can spill over into other areas of the marriage, fostering increased communication, empathy, and mutual support.

Every human is a sexual being. The way the human body was created shows that God from whom this life came was intentional about our sexuality. This Supreme Being would have done this with a purpose. His intention could have been to make a man and woman enjoy sex and be free. Basically, without lovemaking, it is hard to achieve this intention.

God created us to be sexual beings. It is an inborn fire that is unquenchable, a fire our Manufacturer engineered.