The silent grief that comes in a package deal with separation and heartbreak is agonizing. However, the paradox of getting over your ex lies in how you process, heal and transcend the breakup. While most don’t aim for a separation, the undeniable truth is the person who cares less about the connection tends to control the fate and direction of the relationship.

If you are feeling broken, stuck, and resistant to letting go. Follow this formula to begin the healing process of releasing the pain while cultivating more self-love, confidence, and safety within yourself.

Your path to healing from heartbreak should be empowering, supportive, and transcendental. The seven steps below act as action pieces that, when combined, create the process of letting go.

Going through a breakup doesn’t sound stressful for some, but a psychological shock overrides the physical body when experiencing heartbreak. Our bodies feel an array of emotions and physical symptoms when distressed for prolonged periods. Grieving has no timeline, but we can move through pain by fully embracing our feelings.

When stagnant within our mind and body, we tend to hold a low energetic frequency. Instead, we can move, release, and create new energy and sensation within the physical and emotional body. Find your way to move through working out, dancing, yoga, walking, or stretching.

We live in a digital world with dating apps, social media, and streaming. The first thing people tend to do post-breakup is do anything to avoid feeling their feelings. No one wants to feel like shit, but your feelings won’t disappear the more you go out, drink, party, and socialize. The intensity compounds until you’re finally ready to stop running and face what’s below your surface.

Give yourself a timeline to self-loathe, eat your feelings in ice cream, and binge-watch Netflix. It’s healthy to want to do nothing, cry, and fall apart. It’s not only a part of the process of healing but aids in it as well. Finding ways to self-soothe and regulate your nervous system is crucial when beginning to pass the first wave of heartbreak. Eventually, we’ll want to add hobbies and tasks that are productive and feel good. But, firstly, we don’t want to skip the process of releasing who we were in that relationship.

Step 3 unfolds into three mini steps that will mega accelerate your likelihood of moving through the pain of the heartbreak and into a place of acceptance and soon gratitude.

Firstly, you must take your ex off of all social media platforms. Out of sight, out of mind. That might not always ring true, but it’s step one in removing them from your daily life. Silently stalking your ex or those they follow is a coping mechanism that will only reinforce negative feelings.

Secondly, many people hit the delete button on any relationship paraphernalia in the form of pictures and videos. I recommend archiving all content to a private and separate album on your phone. One day you might want to look over old memories, but whether you decide to archive or delete, you are in the power of choice.

Thirdly, delete your text messages; just do it. Next thing you know, it’s 3 AM, and you’re reading through texts when your relationship is sweet and fuzzy. So keep things straightforward. Delete your old love texts and carry on with your day and life.

As we slowly move out of heartbreak, we can start reframing the breakup into an opportunity to get closer in alignment with ourselves. First, take inventory of the relationship; what went wrong but what also went right? What are my non-negotiables going forward in relationships? What are my needs? Through reflection, we can notice our shortcomings and improve.

Create a consistent daily routine that is short, simple, and effective. When we show up each day and repeat a repetition step of tasks, not only it creates a sense of structure and familiarity within the mind. It also decreases our stress levels while aiding in healing and growth. By implementing a form of body movement, meditation, and healthy food, you’re already creating huge strides of change daily. It’s the small daily steps that create our long-term goals and success. Reminder, you’ll not always want to show up and give it your all, so make sure not to act based on how you feel in the moment.

As we move out of the heavy cloak of sadness and grief, the tiniest speck of light at the end of the heartbreak tunnel will come into sight. The heaviness will slowly subside, and the feeling of ‘normal’ starts to creep in. When this happens, we’ll feel called to socialize and be around others again. Spend time with people who inspire, uplift, and encourage you to improve. Anyone or anything that makes you feel shitty, less than, or self-conscious, run from it and avoid it at all costs. Your healing journey is metamorphosing, and don’t let anyone take that from you.

There will be days when you feel you’ve entirely escaped the breakup and let it go. To then simultaneously feel in a rut a moment later and want to veer right back towards old habits like silent stalking your ex’s Instagram. Instead, lean on the support of your loved ones and community when you feel the urge to contact your ex. Write a letter or type a note on your phone to get out what you’re feeling and need to say if needed. Don’t drop your position of power in a flailing moment because accept it; not every day will be good.

Remember, you’ll only be as happy with someone as alone. So jump off the cliff of fear and take a chance on yourself. You are worth it.