In My Head

IRIS GARCIA: The protagonist, a woman in her early 30s. She discovers certain things about her husband which upsets her and she then invites her friends over to help her decide her future with her husband. 

FENMORE GARCIA: Iris’s husband of 5 years but they have been together for 8 years total. In the play, he is not really present, he is away on a work tour. 

 

ROSE HUBBARD: She is a friend of Iris. She has a more nurturing and calming approach to things. 

TANYA WORMALD: Like Rose, she too is a friend of Iris, but she has a more defensive and straight-forward approach to things. 

CONNARD LEE: He is a friend of Iris. She invites him over to mellow out the mood a bit and uplift her mood a bit. 

NURSE AIMEE: Iris Garcia’s usual caretaker. 

NURSE ATIFAH: Nurse Aimee goes away for a few days, leaving Nurse Atifah to look after Iris. 

The scene is set in the protagonist Iris Garcia’s house. It is a 2 storey house with a garden. 

Present Day

Setting: The scene is set in Mrs Iris Garcia’s living room. The house is cosy, quaint and has carefully decorated interiors that are pleasing to the eye. Iris is sitting on a plump armchair by the window, gazing at the view of her garden outside. She has recently found out that her husband was unfaithful and is now confused about whether she should stay with him or not. A few of her friends come to visit her in light of the events. 

IRIS GARCIA

(IRIS GARCIA takes a deep breath, sighs and stares at her garden)

What should I do about this mess that I have found myself in? I am so lost, I can’t seem to make up my mind and make a firm decision. I can’t ask someone else to make the choice for me, they don’t know Fenmore as I do. They would never understand our relationship. We were so happy together, but now I can’t even look at his face without being reminded of all the other women. 

I go numb and cold, much like my beautiful garden does during the colder months. I wish our love could bloom once again just like my garden has this spring. The flowers, the squirrels and the birds, all remind me of our happier days. I wish we could have it all back once again. 

(Enter ROSE HUBBARD)

ROSE HUBBARD

Oh, my poor Iris! I heard about what that imbecile did. You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. If it’s any consolation, my sister’s mother-in-law knows a couple of those women and she was telling me that they’re nothing compared to you. 

Have you decided what you’re going to do? 

You don’t have kids so even if you were to divorce him, it won’t be too complicated. You aren’t pregnant, are you?

(Short pause)

We can always get rid of it if you know what I mean. Ugh, I’m sorry for rambling on Iris, how are you?

IRIS GARCIA

(Visibly annoyed and upset)

No Rose, I’m not pregnant okay? You know I don’t like children and swore I’d never have any, and no Rose, throwing dirt on those other women isn’t making me feel any better. 

Those women probably don’t even know of my existence. Fenmore should’ve made better decisions. He’s the one who swore his love and loyalty to me, not those other women. I’m still shocked about all this and I haven’t been able to make up my mind. I know he loves me and I love him deeply too. He’s gone away on a work tour and hasn’t been able to contact me due to connectivity issues. I will decide once I speak to him...

(Voice trails off) 

ROSE HUBBARD

Well, I understand what you’re going through, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I bet the kitchen has something that’ll make you feel better. Let’s get us a snack and make a hot cup of caramel coffee. That’s your favourite right?

(ROSE and IRIS head to the kitchen and get some snacks and a coffee) 

IRIS GARCIA

(Speaking while she is still in thought)

Although Fenmore did cheat, multiple times, I do still love him as much as I did before knowing about his infidelity. He may not be perfect, but what we have is perfect. 

But again, I would never cheat on him no matter how strained our relationship is. You don’t intentionally hurt the people you love, do you? 

I know I deserve better than the sleepless nights of wondering where he is while he is out there bedding other women. I deserve all his spare attention and love, even if it’s as simple as watering our garden. Who would’ve thought that my Fenmore would do this to me? We’ve been together EIGHT years, married for 4 of those. 

Should I really give him another chance? Is he really worthy of it?

(Enter TANYA WORMALD) 

TANYA WORMALD

I’m really sorry Iris. I was so furious when I heard about it, I wanted to hunt him down. I came here as soon as I could. I swear nothing like this will ever happen to you. I will make sure of it. 

(Short pause)

How are you holding up? I hope Rose didn’t bother you much. I had asked her to wait for me but you know how she is.

ROSE HUBBARD

Hey! What do you mean by that? I’m her friend too you know! I’m not dumb, I just don’t think much before speaking but I won’t apologize for my personality! 

TANYA WORMALD

Alright, calm down!

(Gesturing ROSE HUBBARD to sit down)

We’ll quarrel later. Right now, Iris needs us and we ought to be there to take care of her needs. 

IRIS GARCIA

I really appreciate you guys looking after me. With Fenmore gone, I really needed someone to take care of me. Plus I haven’t really seen you guys in some time. I have been super busy... (Voice trails off again)

The real outside world seems off in a way. Maybe that’s why I prefer to sit by this window and stare at the blossoming flowers in my garden.

Honestly, everything just seems so different since Fenmore has been away. So many things have changed. I found out about my beloved husband cheating on me making it hard for me to keep my mind clear. Even the harsh winter gave way to spring. 

So many things have changed, except for my love for him.

Fenmore isn’t the only person in my life to have let me down you know? Dad too left us with an abusive grandmother who made my life hell. I didn’t have a choice then but I do have a choice now. I can leave Fenmore or choose to stay. 

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!

(IRIS GARCIA gets frustrated and covers her face with her palms)

(ROSE HUBBARD comes closer to IRIS and puts her hand on IRIS GARCIA’S shoulders)

ROSE HUBBARD

Hey babe, calm down! Tanya and I are here just for that. Don’t think about the past and get yourself worked up over it.

(Glances at TANYA WORMALD with concern)

You know what? Don’t even think about Fenmore right now. All we need to do right now is focus on calming you down and clearing our head. 

Take deep breaths with me now, come on.

Breathe in

Breathe out

Breathe in

Breathe out! 

That’s my girl, come here I’ll give you a bear hug.

(ROSE HUBBARD leans over and hugs IRIS GARCIA tight)

(After a few moments in silence)

TANYA WORMALD

Honestly, if you ask me, you should dump his ass and forget about him right this moment. I can help with that. Just say the word. Forgive me, but Fenmore doesn’t deserve a woman like you. You deserve so much better considering the things you have been through...

(Short pause)

I will never let him or anyone harm you this way again. I wish I could’ve helped you earlier but everything was so unexpected...

ROSE HUBBARD

Tanya! Quit reminding her about the old things. We are trying to soothe and calm her down, not get her upset all over again. 

Get your head straight Tanya or I’ll do it for you. Focus on what we can do and not on stuff that could’ve been done. 

(ROSE HUBBARD glares at TANYA WORMALD)

IRIS GARCIA

Shush you both, you don’t need to fight. You both need to calm down. My mind is clearer now and I think I’ve made up my mind. I’ll make my final decision when Fenmore comes back from his work tour. I think we both need to sit down and have a chat. 

Till he comes back, I need you both to stay here with me. I wish to not be alone. I feel scared for some reason. Just please stay with me?

(TANYA WORMALD and ROSE HUBBARD silently nod their heads)

SETTING: The scene is now set in IRIS GARCIA’s bedroom. This room too has an armchair against the window which overlooks the garden. IRIS is laying on her bed and is surrounded by her friends, ROSE HUBBARD who is sitting on a chair, TANYA WORMALD who is leaning against the wall and CONNARD LEE who is sitting on the bedroom bench. This scene occurs 5-6 days after Scene 1. 

CONNARD LEE 

Congratulations Iris! You married the wrong guy! I had warned you that it was too soon. 

Jeez! Had I not told you that people tend to change every 3-4 years? If only you guys would’ve listened to me. I may seem like a crackhead, but trust me, we crackheads have some of the best advice there is out there. 

But you know what Iris? 

Don’t you worry! 

Everything’s going to be just fine. I’ll make sure of it. My humour is all you need! 

Also, you guys REALLY need to learn to not take things so seriously! Just calm down! 

TANYA WORMALD

Trust me, Connard, if you don’t shut up right now, there will be one less person in this room. Iris doesn’t need all this right now.

(TANYA WORMALD get annoyed and frustrated at CONNARD LEE) 

Why can’t you ever shut your mouth up?

Can you not read the room?

Who on Earth called you here?

IRIS GARCIA

It’s okay Tanya, I invited him here. I was so anxious about the whole Fenmore situation, I needed some humour and stupidity around me and who else would I call if not Connard!  It’ll help me take my mind off things, at least for a while...

TANYA WORMALD

He also tends to cross lines with his humour. Do let me know when he does that and I’ll whack him into his place. I know just how to do that. 

(Looks at CONNARD LEE with a threatening expression)

Oh God, please don’t start again. Do you keep forgetting that we’re all here for the same reason and that we ALL care about Iris?

We all wish the best for her and she will let us know if we are lacking or if she needs something. She’s just upset, not brain dead! 

Hmmm, on that note, Iris!

Tell me what do Zombies have for dinner?

Ummm, how would I know Connard? Also, why would you ask me that?

(Iris GARCIA looks confused and concerned)

Since our beloved Tanya (extra emphasis on the T) already considers you brain dead, I figured a Zombie joke fits! 

(CONNARD LEE Smirks)

IRIS GARCIA

(Chuckles)

Connard! Only you can think of such absurd things and no I don’t know what Zombies would eat for dinner. 

Human brains maybe?!

CONNARD LEE

Hahaha, you were somewhat close but the right answer is human beans, fried legs and eyes cream! 

(CONNARD LEE erupts in laughter)

IRIS, ROSE HUBBARD and TANYA WORMALD together

Oh boy! That was such a lame joke! 

(The trio starts laughing too)

Ahhh, I’m glad I have you guys. It makes my mood better. I’ve made up my mind about Fenmore. I’ll talk to him once he’s back. Maybe a marriage counsellor can help us work this out.  

As long as you are happy with your decision, we’re going to support you no matter what. Tanya and I are here to cater to your needs and Connard is here to annoy and distract you. 

Fenmore should be here in a couple of hours. I’m so nervous to see him. I’m going to go make myself some tea. Rose would you please come with me?

(ROSE HUBBARD and IRIS GARCIA get up and go towards the kitchen)

(As soon as they leave, the landline rings and TANYA WORMALD answers it) 

(After answering the landline, TANYA WORMALD looks furious and angry) 

(ROSE HUBBARD and IRIS GARCIA enter the bedroom again)

Iris, I swear on God, I’m going to kill Fenmore the moment I see him. 

What’s wrong Tanya? Tell me!

TANYA WORMALD

Fenmore isn’t coming home today. His work tip has been ‘extended’. I really doubt his company extended it. I just KNOW that he must’ve asked for it. Should I set him straight for you? I know just how to do it. 

IRIS GARCIA

What do you mean he isn’t coming home? He knew I needed to talk to him about something important. Are you sure he isn’t coming home today?

TANYA WORMALD

His company just called and yes I’m sure he isn’t coming home today. I’m sorry but he is such an ass! 

ROSE HUBBARD

Oh no Iris, are you okay love? Let’s not jump to conclusions right now. Maybe something must’ve come up and he had to stay back for a few days? That does happen sometimes doesn’t it?

CONNARD LEE

Iris, maybe you unintentionally must’ve telecommunicated it to him?!

(CONNARD LEE awkwardly laughs)

Okay! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be joking right now...

(CONNARD LEE stops speaking)

IRIS GARCIA

I honestly don’t know what to think. I’ve known him for 8 years now, I know he wouldn’t purposely do this just to avoid me. I really think he must’ve got busy or something.

ROSE HUBBARD

The only thing you can do right now is to wait till he comes home, Iris. 

(ROSE HUBBARD looks at IRIS with concern)

IRIS GARCIA

Yeah, that’s all I can do right now. There’s no point in worrying over it right now. I say I love him, the least I can do is give him a chance to speak for himself before I make my choice. He does love me. Doesn’t he?

TANYA WORMALD

I’m sorry but I seriously doubt that Iris. 

IRIS GARCIA

I think I’ll just take a nap now. You guys can go and watch TV or something. I think I need some time alone.

(CONNARD LEE, ROSE HUBBARD and TANYA WORMALD leave the room and IRIS falls asleep) 

Setting: A nurse (NURSE AIMEE) enters IRIS GARCIA’s room with medicines and a glass of water in her hands. This scene occurs a few hours after the previous 

NURSE AIMEE

Hello Iris, how are we feeling today? I hope it’s not too cold for you today. 

IRIS GARCIA

Can I know what you’re here for? Did you water my garden? 

NURSE AIMEE

I’m your nurse Iris. I’m here to give you your medicines for tonight and check up on you. 

Did you eat your dinner?

IRIS GARCIA

Um okay. No, I didn’t have my dinner yet. 

Can you tell me when Rose, Tanya and Connard will arrive? 

NURSE AIMEE

Um, they should be here anytime. Please take your medicines and I’ll leave you alone now.

(IRIS GARCIA takes the medicines and goes back to sleep)

(NURSE ATIFAH arrives outside the bedroom door and NURSE AIMEE comes out)

(NURSE AIMEE is going away for a few days and NURSE ATIFAH is here to fill in for those days, so NURSE AIMEE is giving her some instructions)

NURSE AIMEE

I’m trusting you with this job as I know this won’t be your first time caring for someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder and psychosis. 

You must ensure that Mrs Garcia is taken care of. She’s been through a lot already and that nice lady doesn’t deserve any of this. I’ll be gone for only a few days. 

NURSE ATIFAH

Don’t worry ma’am. I’ll take good care of her. If you don’t mind me asking, what caused this?

NURSE AIMEE

Mrs Garcia was tormented by her grandmother when she was a child. Her parents abandoned her and after her grandmother passed, she was tossed around in the foster system where she had to change houses every 3-4 years. I think she was also sexually assaulted in one of those homes. 

Mr Fenmore Garcia and Iris were deeply in love. They were the perfect couple. He always took care of her, almost like it was compensation for all the years of the trauma she had faced earlier. 

A few months ago, Mr Garcia met with an accident and didn’t make it. Iris had battled through so many traumatic events in her life, but she couldn’t bear losing the love of her life. She was torn apart. She was then diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder and psychosis. She always had signs of DID but this REALLY messed things up. 

NURSE ATIFAH

Oh boy. I didn’t expect it to be so severe. Losing her husband really traumatised her didn’t it? 

NURSE AIMEE

I know. She loves him so much that even after his death, her mind refuses to accept it. She imagines different delusions about his absence. The most recent one is where Mr Garcia has left for a work tour and she has found out that he was unfaithful to her. 

In her mind, she would rather have him be unfaithful than be dead because the former gives her hope of his return, unlike reality. It’s their love that is keeping her together. 

Rose, Connard and Tanya are her alters. She does hallucinate them too. Rose is the healer or the soother, Tanya the protector and Connard is one of the littles. We only know of three right now because Rose keeps a diary and sometimes will talk to me too. That’s how I know about the current delusion she is imagining. 

They function together as a system but Iris is not consciously aware of it, so DO NOT mention DID or anything even by mistake. 

NURSE ATIFAH

Okay Ma’am. I’ll keep that in mind and I’ll pray for her too. You can leave for your journey now. 

(NURSE AIMEE leaves and NURSE ATIFAH goes to check on IRIS GARCIA who is sitting by the window)

NURSE ATIFAH

Hello Mrs Garcia, I’ll be taking care of you for a few days. Do you need anything?

IRIS GARCIA

No thank you love, all I need now is my husband to come back from his military deployment. I’ve been waiting for him since last winter and Oh look! It’s already spring. I can’t wait to see him. Connard and Rose say that he should be here in a couple of days. Let me tell you about the day we met... 

(IRIS GARCIA gazes outside, admiring her lifeless garden <she still thinks it’s in full bloom although it’s snowing outside> while narrating the story to NURSE ATIFAH)

NURSE ATIFAH

(In her mind)

I can’t help but feel both bad and good for her. I feel bad for her because of everything that happened to her. But the good thing is that she doesn’t know any of it. Her love is true and it will remain true until the day she realises her husband isn’t coming back or she dies. I must pray for this woman...

(NURSE ATIFAH gazes out the window as it starts snowing again)

Every time Iris looks out the window and into the garden, she hallucinates it as a blooming and blossoming garden, which represents her hope that she’ll soon someday see her husband. Unfortunately, in reality the garden is covered in snow and most of the plants are dead which represent the truth that her Fenmore is never coming back. 

Dissociative Identity Disorder or simply, DID is a serious mental disease that affects many people around the globe. The disorder is characterised by the presence of two or more distinct personality states. It is usually a reaction to traumatic situations under which the brain puts up amnesiac barriers within the mind to block those memories. This is usually caused due to repeated trauma at young ages or/and unstable connections and abuse from the primary care-givers of a child. A lot of people do not even realise they have this condition until they are much older even though this disease usually develops at the young age of 7-9 when a person’s personality fully integrates as a whole. It is a defence mechanism developed by the brain and the different personalities or ‘alters’ play different roles in the ‘system’ to help the person/host carry on with their life. ‘Littles’ are usually the younger alters who are innocent and have the innocence that of a child. Different alters in the same system can be of any age (can also be immortal), non-human and also differ in appearance, gender, sexuality and so on. Although DID is an incurable disease, the lives of the systems can be improved by spreading awareness about the condition and allowing people with DID to function as normally as possible, keeping in mind their safety.