Article on self-love

THE TWO TYPES OF SELF LOVE NOBODY EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT

Self-love is one of the most misunderstood terms out there today, yes even more misunderstood than spiders. The word is thrown around carelessly; most of the time it makes little sense and worse, sometimes is toxic.

So why is it when we live in a world that seems to be so aware of the importance of loving yourself, social media hate, trolls and intolerance are higher than ever?

It is because there are two types of self-love, pseudo and real and unfortunately since nobody taught us this, here we are wrapped up in pretty words and hollow actions.

To tackle anything we first need to understand it, so what do the types even mean.

PSUEDO SELF-LOVE

Self-love is not all about acceptance. You need to be able to recognize where you can improve and then take responsibility for it. Stop saying- ‘I am this way and I don’t give a nickel if this is hurting anyone or myself’ or ‘this is the way God made me.’ No. Stop it. Do you really think this was all God had in mind when he thought of you? Forget about him, do you really not believe that you can do more, live more, be more?

It has also somehow become about elaborate routines revolving around material things and physical appearance. This is especially dangerous because it’s taken to be the biggest part of it. We are still bowing down to the beauty standards, but now we are just doing it in the name of self-love.

Elaborate rituals, crystals, bath salts are all only a tiny part of self-love. Most people miss this point and go straight to loving themselves in the convenient, society-approved way and when everything is going well. And so it goes straight to hell if they face adversity when that is the moment self-love and kindness are needed the most. If you don’t continue that elaborate routine when you face a failure or rejection, how is that self-love?

This kind of “self-love” never lasts and almost always vanishes at the first flicker of a challenge.

REAL SELF-LOVE

This is a deep knowing that you are worthy of love, wonders, and successes, no matter what. For some things, you might have to better an aspect of yourself, but there is no judgment there. There is growth and transformation. You understand that and don’t beat yourself up.

You understand that if you need to develop a new habit or change something about yourself; it’s not because you are not good enough; it is because your desire needs a different environment to thrive in.

Real sell-love has many nuances and facets to it. There are many ways you love yourself and not every way works in every situation. Sometimes you need tough love, sometimes you need cuddles. However, you always need kindness and no judgments.

So how do we love ourselves the right way? It’s high time we decode this mystery once and for all. Open your mind, put on your courage hat, and let’s dive right into the roadmap of true self-love.