Letting Go of Negativity: A Big Positive for Wellbeing

Do you ever find yourself walking around with your head in a little storm cloud? You may not even be aware of the negative thoughts that seem to be stuck on repeat, but guess what … all that negativity churning around in your mind is not at all good for you.

Sure, we all have an axe to grind. Whether we were dumped by a romantic partner, backstabbed at the office, or the butt of someone’s mean post on social media, it always hurts to be wronged. After all, our pride has been hurt.

Once it’s believed we’ve been harmed, a barrage of ruminating thoughts proceeds to replay the perceived slight over and over while we calculate our revenge. The reality is, however, that the person who caused all this pain and resentment has most likely forgotten all about it.

As a result, we are wasting precious energy and time being stuck in the mud with that constant loop of negativity playing in our heads. As we continue to marinate in our anger or frustration, we only extend the harm that was done in the first place.

Choosing to let go of those negative thoughts, memories, or feelings, means you have come to realize that hanging on to all the negativity doesn’t serve you anymore. As noble as all this sounds, though, it isn’t always easy to let go of negativity. To learn more about how to overcome a negative mindset and shift into positivity, please read on.

While on this journey called life, we’ll all encounter an array of experiences, both positive and negative. We are thrilled to revel in the positive experiences, but oh how we dread the negative ones.

Strangely enough, it is not uncommon for us to become hyper-focused on the negative experiences while discounting the positive. For example, say you have your annual performance review at work and your boss highlights nine areas where you absolutely excel, but then mentions one area that could use some improvement. You might spend the rest of the day dwelling on that one weak-ish area because your mind filters out the good and focuses only on the critique. Why is that?

Due to our unique backgrounds and life experiences, it is a fact that resilience, coping skills, and cognitive processing also differ vastly.

Here are some of the ways we can develop a negative mindset:

Modeled behavior. A child who grows up exposed to negativity by parents, siblings, or other family members learns from them to see the world through jaded eyes.

Thought distortions. Cognitive distortions are disordered or exaggerated thought patterns using black or white thinking that enhances the event. This leads to catastrophizing, jumping to the most negative conclusion and expecting the worst outcome.

Childhood trauma. Exposure to trauma or neglect in early childhood sets the stage for the way you will process adverse events in adulthood.

News overload. The daily news cycle can quickly become overwhelming. Too much exposure to current events or politics can fuel stress and negativity.

Self-pity. Some might hang on to their adverse life experiences instead of making any real effort to overcome them, seeming to enjoy the attention they receive.

Personality traits. Our unique temperaments and personality traits can have a significant effect on how we process our life experiences.

Negative emotions. Negative emotions like anger, resentment, sadness, and disappointment are allowed to fester, which foments a negative mindset.

While having occasional negative thoughts is a completely normal part of the human experience, dwelling on them to the point that it taints your quality of life is not. Let’s consider some helpful ways to turn that frown upside down:

Seek out the positive. Make an intentional effort to balance any negative thoughts with at least twice as many positive ones. Do this by actively seeking out the things that make you feel calm and happy. Think about the things your are passionate about, such as the beauty of nature, live music or theater, traveling, comedy acts, art exhibits, or good books, and then add them to your routine.

Forgiveness. Making a conscious choice to forgive someone who has hurt you is just as much a gift to yourself as it is to the perpetrator. Stop allowing the negative energy fueled by anger and resentment to eat away at you. Forgiveness empowers you to cease being a victim and to choose the higher ground. Once you sincerely forgive someone, you will be amazed at the blessings that follow.

Challenge the source. Ask yourself where your negative worldview is coming from. Examine where the negative thoughts originate with the help of a therapist who can walk you back to the source. You may be carrying baggage from childhood that has managed to seep into every layer of your psyche. Once that is rooted out you can begin the healing process that leads to positivity.

Gratitude. If we do find that negativity has managed to take over, there’s a good chance we have lost touch with our sense of gratitude. Recognizing the things in your daily life that you are truly grateful for is a great way to knock that negativity down. Start by keeping a daily gratitude journal by listing just three things from your day that you are grateful for.

Surround yourself with love. The very best way to overcome a bout of negativity is to be around the people in your life who bring you joy. Whether it’s your kids, your spouse, your grandchildren, or your best friend, make sure you stay connected to these key sources of authentic love.

Learning how to transform negative thoughts and feelings into something constructive and even beautiful is essential to protecting our mental health. Positivity has the power to enhance all aspects of wellness – mind, body, and spirit. Give your attitude a positivity makeover starting today!