The Gift of Forgiveness

The burden of not forgiving someone is such a heavy load to carry. Many persons alive have gone through some conflict situation with another which has led them to feel hurt. Many times, it feels like the hurt is gone but the hurt doesn't just disappear, they are triggered by a memory; song, word, or a similar incident. Suddenly, something that one thought had died a natural death resurfaces and changes the mood and one's behaviour for a while, sometimes for days.

This bitterness seems to have a way of rearing its ugly head each time it feels like one has moved past it. This is the way of not forgiving someone; it is not something you bury unconsciously. When you say it has been buried without taking action to ensure that its funeral was well attended and the burial ground was properly sealed as the dust goes back to dust.

One could go a long time and not notice that he or she is hurting or in pain because, at that instance, the person in question didn't consider what had just happened until a trigger brings it to the person's consciousness. Whatever you do not give a chance won't have the chance to hurt or excite you.

This experience can be related to your finding an injury on your body and trying to recall how it got there. When you can track it, you sometimes would wonder why you didn't feel the pain when it happened. The short answer to that question is that you were not conscious when it happened. The times you were conscious, you felt the pain or hurt instantly.

People deal with pain or hurt differently. For some people, the degree of pain associated with their feeling, based on their assessment of the pain, will determine how quickly they choose to let the matter go. The bottom line though is that it is still our choice how we deal with our pain, especially the ones caused by the people we associate with; family, friends, and neighbours.

Not forgiving someone is equally a choice, whenever we come to the consciousness of the cause of the pain or hurt. We can choose to stay put or move on. The weight of the pain is sometimes based on who caused the pain. If it was caused by someone we respect or trust, we tend to dwell on the illusion that it couldn’t have been done by that person for longer than we should.