Gentle Parenting Basics Blog Post

You can’t rewind time in your parenting career, but you can start fresh by learning the foundational basics of gentle parenting.

With more gentleness, more compassion.

More intention.

Less reaction.

Keep reading to learn four important foundational basics of gentle parenting. Then you can get started today by using the two tips at the end of this post.

Gentle parenting sees your child as a whole person with thoughts and feelings of their own that deserve to be acknowledged.

This parenting style uses positivity, patience, love, and compassion. Parents try their best not to impose shame, fear, and punishment.

You may also hear gentle parenting referred to as positive parenting, conscious parenting, or authoritative parenting.

We’ll discuss each pillar in the next section.

Their emotions, habits, quirks, likes, dislikes.

Your whole, wonderful child.

You’ll use that understanding to guide your parental decision-making.

That becomes a snowball effect of responding to your child’s needs in a developmentally appropriate way – instead of flying off the handle as modeled to you in the 90s.

Because what a non-authoritative adult expects from a child is often beyond the child’s developmental capability.

Whether that’s sit still, shut up, or hand me the wrench!

When you understand how a child’s brain and body work, it’s easier to understand where they’re coming from and gently adjust your parenting.

As parents, we tend to demand this of our children, yet forget to reciprocate it.

We yell at them to hurry up, and then be not ready when they are.

We annoyingly bribe them to eat their vegetables and then give ourselves full autonomy to choose what to put in our mouths.

To get annoyed because your kiddo interrupted your doom scroll that was so important to you? (Been there, ouch, mom guilt).

Just a friendly reminder to check yourself every once in a while, okay?

Remember – r.e.s.p.e.c.t.

empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

When you are empathetic towards your child, you hold space for them.

You honor them.

Acknowledging your child’s feelings not only validates their feelings but also fosters empathy in your child.

It’s a no brainer, right? Having empathy is good.

And empathetic children turn into empathetic adults.

Empathetic adults care for others (even the unempathetic ones) and the world around them.

We certainly need more of that in today’s world.

Healthy boundaries are created with intention.

Healthy, age-appropriate boundaries are important for a developing child because it creates safety and security.

Just not the kind of hard-ass discipline many parents and grandparents and caregivers and society thinks of.

To understand the kind of discipline required for gentle parenting, you have to rethink what discipline is.

So do you think of discipline as ‘tough love’?

Or do you think of discipline as using punishment?

If you shake off what you’ve been conditioned as a society to believe what discipline towards a child should look like, then you can reclaim the true meaning of the word discipline: to learn.

Out of the four parenting styles, a 2018 study found that a gentle, authoritative parenting approach leads to optimism, resilience, self-reliance, high self-esteem and healthy social skills, and higher academic achievement.

The first thing to do is become aware of your parenting style.

Then keep educating yourself on how to be a better, gentler parent.

How do you respond when they spill their drink?

What is your go-to move when they backtalk?

Do you immediately give in, hold firm, or eventually cave when your child has a tantrum?

Generally, there are four parenting styles.

Does your parenting habits align more with:

authoritarian (high demandingness/low responsiveness)

authoritative (high demandingness/high responsivness)

permissive/indulgent (low demandingness/high responsivness)

uninvolved/neglectful (low demandingess/lowresponsiveness)

PsychCentral has a quick quiz you can take to see which style you are.

(We can just scratch off #4, as you wouldn’t be reading this post otherwise, would you?)

Relish the gift of technology and libraries and keep learning.

You have so much information at your fingertips – even reading something new for 3 minutes during a potty break is something.

Let’s just say you pee 10 times a day (hmm, seems so low to me).

That’s 30 minutes of parenting evolution to be had, instead of a mindless Instagram break.

That’s 3.5 hours a week of learning time on the potty if you choose.

Though an Instagram break to follow a parenting expert counts, for sure.

Gentle parenting views a child as a whole being with their own thoughts, feelings, and desires.

It emphasizes a parent’s understanding of where their child is developmentally so they can meet them there, instead of expecting too much.

Remember that you can start gentle parenting today by reflecting on your own parenting style – and reading blog posts like this one! Though don’t forget to pick up a good, physical book once in a while. Seriously.

How far along in the throes of gentle parenting are you? Share below in the comments.

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