Mothman - The Theatrical Script
Rose McAteer
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Posted Sep 29, 2024
This is a quirky short romantic comedy featuring two young college students discovering their feelings for one another, and mothman.
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OPENING SCENE
The scene opens on a pair of young men walking in a pine forest at dusk. One of them is wearing a Mothman themed T-Shirt and hawaiian shorts, and is carrying both a camera and flashlight. He is examining his surroundings eagerly. The second man is following two steps behind him, wearing a button down shirt and slacks, looking somewhat frustrated and anxious.
Lawrence: Max? Max! Oh there you are. Jesus man, stop getting too far ahead of me, its dark out and I almost lost you.
Max: Omg Lawrence come over here! Look! Footprints!
Lawrence joins max and peers at the ground.
Lawrence: Those are from a big dog or something.
Max: Mothman might have dog feet, you never know.
Lawrence: He's a BIRD for christs sake, why the hell would he have dog feet? Also I'm pretty sure we're trespassing in someones backyard now. We should go back to the trail.
Max: I don't know. He's Mothman. He can have whatever kind of feet he wants. Man, just wait until the discord sees these!
Lawrence snorts under his breath.
Max: Just you wait. Before nightfall I'll have met my future husband- the cryptid avian himself!
Lawrence: I hope he takes our mid terms for us, because if you keep on dragging me out here for hours at a time to try and find him neither of us are going to pass. I should be studying right now. It's not like you're going to find him anyway.
Max: Oh yeah? If you're such a pessimist then why did you even come?
Lawrence:... (sighs)
Max: Yeah, I thought so. You want to meet him too. Don't worry, you can be my best man at our wedding!
Lawrence: I'm pretty sure if you ever do discover him, I'm more likely to be picking your entrails out of tree branches.
Max: For my true love, disembowelment would be worth it.
Lawrence: Oh my god, you’re a basket case.
Max: And you’re a basket case’s wing man. Hey, what’s over there?!
Max eagerly rushes over to the other side of the stage and examines a lump on the ground, then places it in a plastic doggie bag. Lawrence attempts to follow, but catches his foot on something and falls to the floor.
Lawrence: Oh shit! Goddamn tree roots!
Max: Lawrence? Lawrence are you ok?
Lawrence: Auuuugh I don’t know man.
Max: Ok, stay calm, this is fine, you’re fine, I’m fine, oh geez oh geez.
Lawrence: I don’t think my ankle is supposed to bend like that.
Max:...
Lawrence: Oh this is great, I follow my buddy out into the cold, dark woods, the night before midterms, and what do I get? A busted ankle! Pain and misery! Why do I do this to myself!
Max: Dude, I swear everything is gonna be ok. You’ve just got to trust me. I can help you stand, and we can call a cab once we’re back at the main road.
Lawrence: Ok, ok, I trust you. Please just help me up.
Max leans down and helps Lawrence stand, slinging one of lawrences arms over his shoulders and holding him up with the arm holding the doggie bag, which is now in proximity to Lawrence's face.
Lawrence: Max is that poop.
Max: It’s a stool sample, I need to look at it under my microscope for evidence of fur and vermin bones, to see if it might belong to him.
Lawrence: Max you are either dropping that poop and leaving it here or you’re dropping me.
Max: Come on man, I need a big break, I know he’s out here, this could be it!
Lawrence voluntarily goes limp and slides back down to the floor, hissing and cursing as his ankle makes contact with the ground.
Max: Oh, no, Lawrence please don’t do this to me.
Lawrence begins to feebly crawl away from max, but stops to catch his breath and reply.
Lawrence: You… are no… friend… of mine. You care more about a fictional creature that doesnt exist than me…
Max: But I do care about you! So much! You’re the one who helps me with my homework and pins up the photos on my mothman evidence board!
Lawrence: Oh come on, it all comes back to mothman, what do you see in that guy anyway?
Max: He’s big and cryptic and winged and silent and mysterious and probably has cool superpowers.
Lawrence: Well, guess I can’t compete with that.
There is a moment of silence.
Max: sighs He’s also fictional, which means my feelings wont ever get hurt. Point Pleasant isn’t a big town, you know, not a of other gay guys here. Do you know how hard it is to catch feelings for someone who might not like you back?
Lawrence:... Yeah. Kinda.
Max: So I’m holding out hope that my night watchman will come some day, that I’ll track him down and we can finally be together!
Lawrence: Oh shit sitting like this is getting really painful, help me up, help me up.
Max drops the doggie bag and helps Lawrence to his feet.
Lawrence: Hey uh… have you ever, you know, caught feelings for someone here. At Point Pleasant. Besides Mothman, of course.
Max: Yeah, a bunch of times.
Lawrence: Anyone you still know?
Max: What are you getting at?
Lawrence: Just… I know someone. Someone I really like. Who’s funny and an overactive goofball, who always manages to rope me up in his schemes.
Max: Wow. He sounds like a doofus. Have you told him you like him?
Lawrence: Sort of.
Max: Sort of? What do you mean, that doesnt make any seeeeeeense oh my god Lawrence are you saying you like me.
Lawrence: Maaaaaybe.
Max: THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!
Lawrence: Does that mean you like me back?
Max: Holy crap, I never realized you putting up with all of my crazy shit and going out in the dead of night whenever I asked meant that you cared about me!
Lawrence: Well, that doesn’t surprise me. Unfortunately. You doofus.
Max: We could’ve been going on dates to the mothman museum!
Lawrence: As opposed to just hanging out at the mothman museum, like you make me almost every weekend?
Max: Yeah! Dating is just like hanging out but more romantical.
Lawrence: I cannot believe I have a crush on your dumb ass.
Max: I cannot believe you have a crush on my dumb ass!
The pair exit the stage.
The End