This project was intended to repurpose a dating coach's podcast episode into a 1000 word blog post. This client had specific formatting requests and wanted to avoid big blocks of text. She also requested a specific CTA for this blog post. To complete this project, I transcribed her podcast, then created headlines and blog content from key points.

💥 1000-1200 Words

💥 Transcription of 30 minute podcast episode

💥 Relevant Title & Headings

💥 Up To 2 Revisions

One of the things that I see come up so often when working with my clients is this underlying theme of not knowing what their real needs are in dating.

Maybe you’re a date or two in and find yourself in that place of constant questioning.

Am I too much? 

Am I not enough? 

Is it okay to ask for this?

Is this really something that’s important to me?

In order for you to move past the constant questioning, you have to get in tune with what your true needs are. And guess what? 

It might get a little messy because we are constantly growing and evolving. As we do, some of our needs will shift with us while others fall away. What was a non-negotiable is now something you no longer give a second thought to. 

So, let’s peel back some of those layers and get into that personal inquiry space and ask yourself, “What’s real for me today and what does that mean while I’m out and about dating?”

So many of the women I work with (and women in general) are carrying around worthiness wounds, which usually stems from childhood. These wounds distort your perception and prevent you from being able to fully and clearly see your actual needs.

Instead, you’re stuck feeling like you’re fundamentally flawed and unable to receive the love you want and deserve.

When you’re acting from that wounded place, it feels like you’ve got too many needs, most of which seem like they’re never met. Meeting those “needs” is usually just a band aid solution that still leaves you feeling hollow and unsatisfied.

And sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you continue operating from those wounds, you’re more prone to attract partners that reinforce those beliefs and create those patterns that you’re trying to escape from.

You have to get underneath those wounds and access that part of yourself that is whole and secure so you can tap into the deeper part of yourself. All of the sudden your needs are going to look entirely different.

Your worthiness wounds most often stem from a pattern of abandonment. When you were a child you were taught that your needs weren’t safe and that they didn’t matter.

That’s where that hyper-independence came from because the only person you could safely rely on was yourself. 

You learned to censor yourself and abandon those parts of yourself that you were taught to believe were too much or too over the top.

When those abandonment patterns don’t get resolved, you wind up attracting patterns who reinforce those feelings who you hope will heal that part of you.

But speaking from personal experience, that doesn’t work.

When you’ve been stuck in that place for so long, it can be so difficult to break free from that without support, which is where a coach like me can really step in and help get you to that turning point. 

Healing those wounds starts with choosing yourself and who you want to be.

Instead of spending so much time fretting over and questioning whether or not you’re enough, too much, too needy…redirect that energy into yourself. 

Rescue that inner version of you that’s been stuck behind all of these false beliefs and kick the bad patterns. 

Work with that younger version of you who was unfiltered and courageous!

Ask yourself…

How do I want to feel in partnership and my love life

What do I need to do to identify with the best version of me?

How can I step into that clean energy?

Stop focusing on what the man you’re dating is or isn’t doing and turn that energy inwards. 

And trust me, it’s not a one and done deal. Choosing yourself is a daily practice that takes continuous focus and work.

Those perceived needs that you have that stem from those worthiness wounds have messy boundaries.

When those superficial needs get met, you might find yourself feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied. Why isn’t it enough?

When you have a need that is being met but you’re still feeling hollow, that’s usually what indicates that need is coming from that wounded place instead of a place of security and safety. 

You’re meeting the surface level needs, but not your deeper, real needs.

Amping up your healthy boundaries will help you figure out if it’s a you thing or if it’s a we thing (meaning you and your partner). 

Creating boundaries and giving yourself a process to explore internally can help figure out your next steps and whether or not you should pull your partner in.

Rejection can be painful. When things don’t work out, oftentimes it can feel like the weight of the world is crashing down on you.

But it doesn’t have to be that way .

Having a more open and welcoming relationship with rejection is going to open things up and create clarity for you.

The world isn’t going to crumble if things don’t work out.

Let it breathe and create space around your relationship so that you can tune into yourself and figure out where to go from there.

Choosing yourself, checking in with your boundaries, and releasing your fear of rejection help open you up to your real and secure self needs.

That’s when you can start to reach that part of you that KNOWS you’re meant for love.

You’ll start operating from that secure attachment and things won’t feel like they’re so high stakes.

As you make this transition, you’ll start to see your needs evolve. Your basic needs are going to remain consistent, but they might start to look a little different.

They’ll continue to evolve and shift as you focus on yourself and do the internal work. 

There’s no need to latch on to a narrow view of yourself and others, because change is inevitable.

I want you to think about something.

What feels selfish that you secretly wish you could receive in your love life? What feels like too much, over the top, absolutely no way that you could experience?

I love asking my clients this question because answering it honestly and without censorship really highlights what’s actually important to you. 

On the surface, some of the ways you answer may feel a little selfish. But take it as an opportunity to dig deeper and find the why behind it.

Are there ways you can meet those needs yourself so that the pressure isn’t on your relationship?

To wrap things up, I want to leave you with a mantra: It is safe for your needs to change and evolve. It’s safe to try new things and find your rhythm. It’s safe to hold higher standards for yourself, others, and your life. It’s safe to step into the version of you that is deep down right now, waiting to be brought to the surface, waiting to be experienced, waiting to be acknowledged, waiting to be embodied.

The capacity to embody your secure self is already within you.

Has expressing your needs to a man been challenging? I’m working on something that can help! Shoot me a quick message to let me know you’re interested!