Human Experience Blog Example

There's been a shift. A slight push by the universe that put me on a path that runs parallel to the one I was on. Both paths have the same destination, but this path seems to feel better. For years now I have been quietly submerged in the sober scene: reading blogs, studying books, performing web searches, finding people like me that I can relate to. None of it was working. I still drank too much. Now I have allowed myself to drink since this new path I am on is not about drinking. This path is about me. This path is about discovering the ultimate me. This isn't about putting the beer down only to give in because I have run out of willpower, this is about why I drink. At what point in my wiring process did my brain connect the drinking wire with the awesome wire? And why is it so difficult to connect the drinking wire with the nope wire? For about a month now I have been on this self awareness journey where I dig deep into my subconscious and figure out what the hell is going on. I think this shift happened after I wrote my last blog entry and attended an AA meeting. Those people were all very nice, open, and kind. I spoke and couldn't finish talking because I was crying so hard. But, when I left I knew that's not my path. Of course I want help, but my help goes deeper and is so multifaceted that I can't spend all of my time focusing on one issue. The why behind my inability to follow through, my consistent drinking, and my self sabotaging thoughts is what I am after, not an AA chip. So far on my journey I have been in fact-gathering mode. I'm starting to understand why I do the things I do, what triggers them, and why that thought pattern is there. Now I have to some how figure out what to do with these facts. Even though I am still actively drinking, I have been finding my inner self. We've had some long serious talks, and it's been fun getting to know myself again.