Opinion: The definitive case for vaping

Get a quick waft of the air — what do you smell? The blooming flowers on George Bush Libraries lawn? Or, the spring water in Rudder fountain?

I can tell you what I smell — overpowering sweet watermelon-flavored vapors. That gut-clenching artificial puff being released by students reminds me that I am home in Aggieland. I could never imagine being on campus without its avid users blowing a cloud in my face with disregard.

The peak time for people to try new things is in their adolescent years, so the abundance of underage vape users is no surprise. Picking out your favorite flavors like a kid in a candy store brings nostalgia while giving you a taste of adult indispositions.

Toss aside the Silly Bandz and fidget spinners that lump you in with “children” and make way for cancer sticks! With their sleek style and trendy tricks, you can fit in with the “chill” crowd. You may prematurely wreck your respiratory system, but hey, you only live once. Unfortunately, I have never indulged in charring my pharynx, but that was my own error. It’s possible that I had focused on the wrong things. Instead of prioritizing my body to be involved in sports and academics, I could have joined the one out 10 high school students choking on hot gas.

Nevermind that the long-term effects of e-cigarettes are still undetermined. The risk of possible fatal diseases like cancer and COPD is nothing compared to being a part of the crowd.

Once you get past the frightening rise of vape-related injuries in the past three years, you can look forward to having smoke breaks between classes. You just have to be able to handle the crippling addiction. I reminisce on the days when functions were abruptly ended or friendships threatened over a lost Juul. Curse words fly at each other over the alleged stolen gadget, only for it to be hidden in a sofa, as detailed in catchy songs like “Where’s my Juul?”

Partakers of this recreational pastime may be affected by exciting and sporadic impulse changes. If you weren’t already experiencing the typical puberty-related anxiety — now toss in violent mood swings. So, where are we now? We’ve deduced that you can expect premature death, appearance and mood changes as well as addiction, on top of becoming a part of statistics of prematurely aging juveniles. What else do you need to be convinced?

Oh, that’s right! When you finally get over the trendy catalyst, you now face withdrawals. Nothing is more enticing than the long list of unnerving symptoms. Imagine late sleepless nights with cold sweats and dry mouth with the relentless craving for one last puff. Constantly fatigued and unable to focus with your mind wandering, missing your little nicotine stick. It’s more fun writing essays when you can’t remember how to spell disease, let alone emphysema and chronic bronchitis. Don’t worry though. It should only last a couple of months, maybe years. You’ll just have to remind others that your permanent cough is only “allergies” daily. So, I guess it’s time to let loose. Join the crowd of premature alcoholics and let go.

Enjoy being carefree with looming respiratory diseases in the near future and succumb to the peer pressures of the modern crowd. Next time your friends offer you a hit, or you see the $20 cigarette alternative hiding behind glass, remember your possible future.

At least we’ll look cool in our coffins with our yellow teeth, wrinkly skin and blackened nails.

Saanya Troutman is an English senior and opinion writer for The Battalion.