Promotional Script

Scripts →Excerpt from Further Education Promo © Alexander Black

INT. KITCHEN – AFTERNOON

Sharon is drinking coffee while Jimmy adjusts the thermostat.

JIMMY Jaysus Sharon, have they any classes in that college about leaving things the fuck alone? If I catch whoever is putting up the thermostat, I’ll teach them a lesson they won’t forget… Anyway, what do I owe this mid-morning call to?

SHARON Dad, you called me. Your internet problems, remember?

JIMMY Ah ye, and fair play to you Sharon. I’ve been using all the stuff you’ve shown me, and I’m able to connect with fellahs I thought were dead.

SHARON So what’s the problem?

JIMMY Well, I don’t like everyone knowing everything about me business.

SHARON What do ye mean, Da?

JIMMY Well, this fellah Gary@nopantssweatybollox… keeps following me and messaging me on all me media outlets. Facebook, Insta, Twitter. The nosy bastard thumbs-upping everything I say.

SHARON Da, I think you might have a stalker.

JIMMY Jaysus Sharon, that’s a terrible thing to say to your da. It’s these tracksuit bottoms your mother bought me—they’re a bit tight around the—

SHARON Jesus, Dad, I mean an online stalker, someone obsessed with you.

JIMMY Ah right, it meant something different in my day. Your mother used to—

SHARON Da. Enough. Listen, maybe you should consider some further education yourself. They accept mature students, you know.

JIMMY Am I mature now? I’ve never been called mature before.

SHARON’S MOTHER (sitting knitting) She meant physically, Jimmy, not mentally.

JIMMY (looking slightly puzzled) Ah, fair play.

NARRATOR Further Education – Teaching Outside the Box

© Alexander Black