Making Friends After Moving to a New City

Hailee Gabbard

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Substack


As someone who recently made the decision to move tolike-minded a completely new place by myself, I have had to put myself out there to build a new life for myself here, including trying to make friends along the way. I found myself in a place of jealousy of those who had friends to go out and do things with. I wanted a great group of people in my new city that matched the version of myself that decided to move here. But where was I going to find these people?

Putting Yourself Out There is Key

It is important to remember that in your dream city, you will probably be able to find many like-minded people - if it was their dream place to live too, you already have something in common. With this being said, just with your location, you are able to find people who you vibe with.

From here, be open to the fact that you are willing and wanting to make new friends. Now, I will preface and say that making new friends does not mean that you have to get rid of the ones that you have before. You don’t even need to make friends, I just enjoy being around others and having a buddy to do activities with, so this was important to me.

Roommates

The first opportunity for myself to make friends was through the roommate search. This was something important to me as I was looking for the people I was going to be spending the majority of my time with. I wanted people that I would be able to get along with roommate wise - but also as a friend. I wanted to be able to come home and watch a movie with a glass of wine and chat and have people that I enjoy spending my time with - and that was what I did. When I was looking for roommates, I looked for people with similar interests, career aspirations, and those who were also looking for someone as a friend as well. I got very lucky with my roommates, but I think you have a huge say in this matter, so choose wisely.

Meeting people out

Now, you can always meet people out and about. I have found that the people that I have met around the area I moved to are so nice! A lot of people move from different places to San Diego, so it seems like everyone is very open to meeting and making friends with new people. I am not the greatest with this, and have not found anyone while being out, just friendly conversations. But, one of my best friends that lives here has made a few very close friends by going out of her way to talk to new people!

Join Clubs

There are so many different types of clubs and activities that you can join. There are book clubs, run clubs, intramural sports, and so much more. By joining an activity that you enjoy, you are going to meet people whoold-fashioned have at least one of the same interests as you. I really love this option because you are able to participate in something that you enjoy and have the option to meet new people. But, even if you do not find people who are going to be your closest friends, you still have gotten out of the house and are doing something for YOU!

Bumble BFF

This is where I have found the most luck - good old fashioned dating apps. I mean, this is how I found my boyfriend, so I trust the process. When I hopped onto the app, there were SO many cool and kind people that I wanted to be friends with. It was really easy to connect and go out for coffee or drinks or whatever interests you. Now, this was amazing for me, and where I made some great friends, but it is extremely overwhelming. When there are so many wonderful people in one place, I want to spend time with everyone! I got myself into a position where I had to silence the app because I was getting frustrated with myself for not being able to spend time with all of the people on there that I wanted to - due to my limited schedule. I think it will be something I download in the future though, I enjoyed this option.

With all of these tips aside, I believe that making new friends comes down to putting yourself out there to meet new people. You have to be the one to ask people to do things and make these interactions happen for yourself.

I also wanted to advise that you should be picky in this process. By making a huge move, you are allowing yourself to grow and change and evolve. Pick people that align with the best version of yourself. And have fun with it! Please let me know if anyone uses any of these tips!

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