Manage Seasonal Depression and Enjoy the Holidays

Fall has finally arrived! For those of us who enjoy sweater weather and cuddling up on the couch with a cup of coffee and a cozy blanket, this change is long overdue. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely enjoy the summer, but I save my love for the Fall. With the onset of this season comes the beginning of another season… the “Holiday Season.”

Along with the leaves changing and the temperature dropping comes the potential for seasonal depression and stress. Though the holidays can be a joyous and beautiful time, I often find that so much about the holidays is romanticized, and we can easily lose sight of the reality of this time of year. For some “family drama” goes hand in hand with Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas morning presents, and the pressure of entertaining and meeting expectations can become overwhelming. That, among so many other factors, can lead to elevated stress and depression. Not to mention the added pressure of dealing with the Covid pandemic.

With these simple tips, we can set healthy boundaries and help to limit holiday stress and depression for ourselves and loved ones during this season and learn to help manage and reduce that stress and depression and leave room for all the joyful parts of the season. Here are some helpful tips to set those boundaries and prioritize our mental health.

It is OK to say NO! This is a powerful tool, but it can be a difficult one to learn. Saying no to friends, family, and coworkers can be challenging, but it can be worth it. Forcing ourselves to participate in every event and every get-together can leave you feeling exhausted and deflated. Working, hosting, cooking, cleaning, purchasing, visiting can all add up over this brief period of time, and push our stress levels to the max. Set your priorities and be realistic with your time and energy. Understand that your time has value and hold onto that. You may end up leaving a few irritated people on your path but understand that their irritation is not worth your health.

Begin planning now. Knowing that your time is valuable can help you manage it moving into this busy time of year. Now is a suitable time to set your priorities to help you manage that time and energy. For example, my highest priority this year is to make it home to New Mexico for Christmas. With that in mind I have turned down projects I know would bleed into my travels or spread me too thin leading up to that travel time, set aside days for traveling, family time, and holiday shopping, and made sure that I am working enough to afford the trip. I am also limiting my participation in public events to ensure I have little opportunity to be exposed to Covid. Again, it is difficult to say no. but also a relief to have a plan and do what is necessary to stick to it. So, plan ahead and maintain your priorities.

Sticking to your plan is often easier said than done. It seems simple enough to make a plan but sticking to the path you have laid out for yourself is a bit of a different story. Not sticking to your plan could lead to feelings of guilt and failure, which could add to the stress and depression of the season. During this time, remember to be realistic. Set a realistic plan and goals and remember that plans can change. There is nothing wrong with that. It is important to recognize your worth, but even more important to protect it. Simply do your best to stick to your guns during this time.

This step is especially important this time of year. Not just for yourself, but for those around you as well. Being able to manage your expectations of loved ones, coworkers, and ourselves could prevent large levels of stress and depression from creeping into our lives. When it comes to those around us, work on accepting people for who they are and managing your reactions. It is easy to get caught up in negativity when things do not go as planned, and even easier to point the finger of blame to shift that negativity onto someone else. Keep in mind that everyone around us is doing their best to also navigate this stressful time of year, and we must do our best to exercise patience and understanding and take responsibility for our own feelings and actions.

Be kind to yourself. During the holidays, we try to focus on Gratitude and Giving, but all too often we forget to be grateful and give to ourselves. Self-care is important and we see that emphasized increasingly on the topic of mental health, but when we spend so much time focused on providing for those around us, we can lose sight of that priority and neglect ourselves. Furthermore, the feelings of loneliness and low self-worth are amplified when we feel our efforts are not being reciprocated. Be sure to set time aside to focus on yourself. Participate in events out of enjoyment and not obligation, treat yourself as well as you treat your loved ones, and allow yourself to step away from stressful situations.

Sometimes it is up to us to set the example of healthy boundaries and behaviors. This can be difficult from time to time, but with patience, this can be a powerful ability in maintaining mental health. Get comfortable communicating your needs and actions to those around you and acknowledge your feelings. Setting boundaries can sometimes feel like a punishment to those close to us, but we must do our best to remove that negativity and make room for positive change. Show your loved ones that setting these healthy boundaries is meant to be a practice in self-preservation and encourage positive participation in these healthy habits.

As always, seek professional help when needed. If you have set your boundaries, planned ahead, and you’ve stuck to your plan, and you still feel overwhelmed and defeated, then turning to a professional could be your next step. It can be difficult at times but learn to listen to yourself and know when it is time to seek help. Counseling and therapy services are a wonderful way to help manage our day-to-day troubles. Therapy provides a safe environment to unload our feelings and emotions and provide us with tools for coping and guidance. Therapy is a powerful advocate, and we highly recommend it. Ask for help when you need it!

The holidays are meant to be a joyous time, filled with love and happiness. They are meant to be shared and treasured, but life still goes on around the holidays. Be kind and patient with yourself during this time and do your best to hold onto those feelings as those positive feelings. Utilizing these tips and tools could help you reclaim the holidays and allow you to focus and receive the love and happiness this holiday represents.