What Type Of Friend Are You?

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. -Oprah Winfrey

“We are friends.”

Are you sure? Friends or acquaintances? Do you know him or her? The society we find ourselves in has made us trivialize some cogent issues and ‘big deals’.

A friend is who stays even when you are at your dead-end. True friendships are determined by independence and dependence. I’ll get back to that.

We need friends to grow, be a companion, and learn from. Most of us choose friends for their looks, up-to-date nature, or influence. What good does such a person do to your life? Nothing.

You try to think hard if anything would be lacking in your life without such a person, nothing. Why then is such a ‘friend’ present in your life?

Classification of friends is a relative concept. You might classify yours based on wealth, the extent of availability, or anything else.

I will be classifying based on impact. I strongly think that every action and inaction taken should be directed towards the manifestation of one’s purpose in life. Personally, there’s no point in keeping a relationship that has no impact on purpose, plans, mindset, or future.

1. Stickers: I coined this term. It is used to name friends who stay and stick to you despite any condition. This is the most difficult to maintain.

Such a person has seen you at your worst, with cracks, and still loves you. Such a person has known you at your down moments and tarried until you were back to yourself. Sometimes, when we get through the lowest points of our lives, all we need is someone who sticks around- that one friend that does not makes us feel forgotten.

2. Salvagers: As the word implies, they are friends that show up at a particular season or time of your life just to help or make an impact. To salvage means to rescue.

Salvagers are rescuers. That one friend who always comes around when it is time for tests or exams to help you read or revise is instrumental to your life. Some people want to be useful whenever they show up, and so, they wait for the best time their impact could be felt. Some notice when you have not been feeding well or something looks wrong with you and come to encourage you. Trust me, after they do so and you are done, they are nowhere to be found.

Salvagers are seasonal. When seasonal friends go, do not feel sad. Some people are meant to be in your life just for a period.

3. Soothsayers: I’m surprised all these classification tags are popping up in my head.

Soothsayers! You should have one as a friend. I don’t mean you should find a magician.😂 Have you spotted anyone in your life who always has the right predictions or speculations whenever you talk about your plans? That one friend you love to seek advice from because what he says about a situation is always turning out that way.

Such people are experienced and they are critical thinkers. They take time to study a situation before delving into it. They are usually mature and have the reasoning of a sage. If such a person is in your life, grasp him tight. Grasp her.

Don’t let your search for cruises and friends that are trendy make you lose important people!

4. Softies: They are in your life to help you feel what you feel. That friend you relay your problems, anger, pains to because you know how they will ‘carry your matter for head’. and feel so genuinely pitiful is a softie.

Sometimes, we need someone to share what our emotion dishes out at a particular time. Softies are empathetic. They have the best soothing words and make sure you don’t feel alone when in trouble. Stickers could be softies.

This happens mostly among female friends.

5. Shareholders: “Guy, I wan run this business sharp sharp. I just dey confused.” “No worry, we go gather run am. You be my person. Make we meet tomorrow. I get money wey I no dey use. I sabi where we fit go borrow sef.”

These people are the ones that are available to go to any length just so that your plans can be achieved. They are your passion-boosters. They see to it that any plan you share with them comes to fulfillment.

Shareholders ‘carry your matter for their head’ practically. They may not be emotional, but they give you the ‘ginger’ you need when you feel like giving up. They HOLD the plans that you SHARE with them. Shareholders.

6. Slayers: Slayers ‘kill’ your pride. They are the ones that tell you the truth about yourself, attitudes, and situations without minding what you think about them. They do not say things to please you, they say things as they are.

You need people who would slay your pride. People who will 'break you' (not emotionally; I mean breaking down and making you see the wrongs in your action or inaction) with words and help you rebuild yourself again. They are not so common. If you have one, hold on. They might not be fun-lovers, but they are personality-sharpeners.

Whew! I have touched on a few aspects of what is in my head. I have lots, but the classification of friends is inexhaustible. I have talked about the ones I feel are paramount to lives and purposes. We all need someone to lean on at one point or the other in our lives.

Sustaining a healthy friendship, I mentioned earlier, has to do with dependence and independence.

A healthy friendship occurs when two people with mutual interests and understanding can think on their own (independence) whilst considering the other person in taking decisions that matter(dependence).

While building friendships, our values should not be rumbling. Find a friend that will challenge you to do better.

Also, respecting the other party’s opinion is important. Do you get angry when your friend says she isn’t going to a place with you because she’s tired? Check yourself. It’s friendship, not tyranny!🙄

Never impose your will on a friend. It makes them feel lesser than they are.

A popular misconception is that friends must always be within our age range. LOL. If only you knew…

Befriending people who are older or more experienced than you make you wiser than a random person within your age range. Most older friends are soothsayers. They know more.

I’ve had older friends of 3-7 years difference since I was 16. The impact they have made in my life is not minute. I do not regret it.

make you think less of yourself.

do not listen to corrections.

use you (ones that do not bring anything to the table. They just use your time, resources, and emotions without reciprocating at all. It seems like you are befriending yourself.)

make you seem difficult to put up with.

have no purpose at all.

Do not lose yourself in the process of finding a friend. A true friend will help you find yourself even more.

Do not pick someone that will end you, pick someone that will befriend you. Friend, not end. I hope you enjoyed this piece.

Ciao! 👋🏽