Happiness: Near Yet Far

“I am HAPPY.”

Such an important sentence. One would think it is used rather commonly. When was the last time you heard someone say, “I am happy” and actually mean it?

Let me clear this straight up. I don’t have the mantra for being happy. I’m just a millennial looking for answers to the big questions, and this is a little potion i brewed in my mind to see if it works.

When was the last time you said it yourself? I find myself unable to answer both of these questions and it makes me sad to see that even if we try, not many of us can actually mean it when we say “I am happy”.

This makes us wonder, is happiness really so rare, that not everyone can truly claim to have it in their lives?

The answer that i found, surprisingly, is no. Happiness isn’t rare. It isn’t something that is hard to find or get in life. Ironically, happiness can be found wherever and whenever we choose for it to be. Then the question arises, why can we not get a hold of it even though it is always so close to us? Let’s find out.

It’s a big world, and a busy one. Nobody has time, neither for others nor themselves. There is cut-throat competition everywhere and people are stuck in the rat-race full of meeting deadlines, reaching targets and a variety of other stress causing factors.

Even though we cannot deny the fact that these things that cause stress, like examinations, deadlines etc. are all important aspects of our lives, we need to understand that our mental health needs to be placed and prioritized above everything and everyone else, every single time, in every situation. We can learn to perform exceptionally well in our desired field, but if it is at the stake of our peace of mind, not once but relentlessly, it will never be fully enjoyed by us and thus, it would end up being just a waste of our labour and decline of our mental health. We just get so carried away with all the stress in our lives that we overlook all the tid-bits of happiness lying around in every corner of our lives.

The will to succeed and achieve great things in life is very essential for all of us, as it awakens the competitive spirit in us, which is really important for a proper character development. However, this is a “will”, whereas happiness and a good state of mind are our “needs” in life. We stress our minds and invest so much time on short-term goals, deadlines, targets that we forget that the actual investment which will help us in the long run is our happiness. There is no such piece of paper in this world which says that you cannot be happy if you are busy or working hard. These short-term goals are, no doubt, very important to us as well, but we should always cut out some time for our brain to relax.

Human beings are just complicated machines with emotions, and every machine requires a routine checking to see if it’s working well, without stress. Humans are no exceptions to this. But what is a human routine check up like? Here’s my take.

So every once in a while, sit down alone and try to process how long it has been since you’ve been truly happy. Try to figure out why you were so happy at that time, and why you haven’t been so genuinely happy since then. And if you feel like talking to someone about it or sharing your thoughts, by all means, reach out. Reach out to a trusted friend, family member or a therapist.

I’ve seen and heard of it so many times. People not sharing how they feel because they’re scared of being judged, or worse scared that people will call them weak? A person who shares their emotions and thoughts is not a coward or a weakling, but a courageous person, as they are not only sharing their thoughts, but also their struggles and their very private opinions. Also, reaching out to someone can help you look at situations from a different angle, and help you think from a new perspective.

Other than not having the proper peaceful mind, people often struggle in finding happiness. They say- “We just cannot find it, no matter how much we look”. Funny part is, it’s everywhere. As I said before, you decide when you want to be happy and you decide where. For one fellow, going out with friends on the weekend is happiness; for another, it could be reading a book in the quiet comfort of his verandah. Billions of people in this world, all so different. Naturally, our happiness would be caused by different things as well. Happiness isn’t found in a specific place (not for all people at least), so you can’t go looking for it. Instead, go looking for new experiences, adventures, things that make your heart flutter. Maybe you will be able to find that old happiness in those new places. However, it doesn’t always have to be something extravagant like outings and adventures. We can attain happiness by doing the smallest things of our liking. For example, I get happy when I read new books, listen to new music, or write or eat something good. Everyone has their own little ways to cheer up.

So, if you’ve been working all day tirelessly on that assignment or trying to meet that deadline, take a break and give some time to yourself. Appreciate your hard work and credit yourself for all the hard work you do because we are worth so much more than we actually treat ourselves. “Your happiness depends on you”. We’ve all heard this sentence a lot, and mostly strike it out as being “just philosophy” . But it makes sense, doesn’t it? Our decisions lead to our happiness, or other emotions that we experience.

One very important thing: Happiness comes in different ways; sometimes we get a small warm feeling in our heart, and that is happiness; and other times it can be an overwhelming splash of positivity in the face, and that is happiness as well. We can’t measure it and typecast it, but only enjoy the emotion when it comes to us.