A Family That Looks Good on Paper

A Family That Looks Good On Paper

“Dolores”, a name meaning “lady of sorrows”. This is what she was. It seemed as though Dolores was never happy, her constant desperation for a family made her blind to what was always actually right in front of her. Dolores lingered through the pathetic excuse of a forest and kept walking and walking until she came across an old amusement park. She had nothing else to do all day, nowhere to be, no one to see. She effortlessly pushed past the rickety gate, pretending to scan an entrance ticket, and thus found herself in an abandoned world of wonder.

Dolores walked past the weathered concession stands as dried leaves blew past her feet. She walked into a themed diner and sat at the bar. Resting her head on her hand, she sulked at the fact that she was sitting alone, until a bearded man dressed in a cowboy costume came and sat in the high chair next to her, already holding a cartoonishly-foamy beer. “Now I do say that a lassie with such a pretty little head of hair like yourself shouldn't be sittin’ lookin’ so sad!” said the freakishly pale cowboy. “Well I’m not so sad anymore, stay a while would you?” said Dolores. “Why, you do have such fine hair little lady, why don't you come with me?” said the cowboy. “Oh, I was going to look around awhile, thank you, though,” replied Dolores. “Well that's just mighty fine,” said the man before he stood up, looking at her with his dark, sunken eyes, and ripped out a small chunk of Dolores’ hair and ran off. “Ow!” Dolores exclaimed before getting up and calmly continuing her walk. 

Dolores was alone and sad again. Why wouldn’t anyone just stay with her? Dolores opened the rusty door to a Ferris wheel cart and sat down. The machine began to make a “whirring” sound as the carts started to slowly spin clockwise. As the day slowly faded to night, the park’s colorful lights turned on one by one until Dolores’ cart was at the top, and the wheel stopped. Dolores looked out at the glowing park, feeling the cool breeze blow gently across her face. At that moment, everything was beautiful. She sat up there for what seemed like forever, laying her head across the edge of the cart, looking out at her wonderful little home. When she was ready, the Ferris wheel slowly started to move again until Dolores was back where she started, and she made her way out of the cart.

Dolores, now skipping happily, picked up an ice cream cone and licked it cheerfully. The mold and maggots wriggling around on it seemed nonexistent to her. She made her way to a bathroom, which upon walking into she saw the words “Sick!”, “Blind!”, and “Girl of tears!” graffitied on the walls and the dirty mirror. She dropped her grotesque cone and ran until she stopped in a grassy meadow just outside the park's fences. She fell into a ball curled up on the ground and cried into her arms. “I’m not sick!” she shouted. Dolores wondered to herself, “Is it so bad to see a better version of things?” She felt the light tap of a man's hand on her shoulder and looked up to see the cowboy from the diner. He took her hand and started to spin in a circle. Dolores smiled and more and more people appeared in the circle: one, two, three more members joined the joyful spinning until a whole group laughed happily with Dolores. “A family”, she thought. Dolores continued to laugh while the others had shifted to being poker-faced, letting Dolores continue to spin on her own in the center of the circle. They all started to close in on Dolores until they pushed her to the ground and held her down while she struggled, Dolores, now with a look of worry, struggled against their hold. Gravestones revealed themselves amidst the tall grass as Dolores felt drops on her face while looking up at the gloomy sky.

As she became more and more conscious of her reality, she realized the drops on her face were her own tears. She cried hysterically as the staff in white coats held her down while she violently struggled. Another man broomed up a small pile of frazzled, ripped-out hair in the corner of her lonely, padded room, and Dolores was sedated with her daily injection. After she calmed down again, she sat on her bed and toyed with her chain of paper dolls, spinning them in a circle to her heart's content. She then laid down to once again dream of a better place, staring at her precious little paper chain, in hopes that one day it was true.