I’m That Mom

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The number of times I’ve been in line at the adorable in-store Target Starbucks behind a younger-than-me mom with a toddler-filled cart, sadly hearing the news that they are, once again, out of cake pops, may only be about five, but it feels like a lot more. The absolute chokehold these stale, little cake treats have on Millennial offspring is unmatched.

On one occasion, I witnessed a mom throw an absolute tantrum and insist they give her the sample from the case. The display cake pop, which the sweet barista attempted to explain, had been sitting there for days and was far from edible, to which the mom angrily responded ‘why do you display it if you know you are out of them?’

A cake pop. This exchange occurred over the unavailability of a cake pop.

I’ve scrolled Pinterest, I know the secret of how cake pops are made. It’s quite simple. It involves a few steps, first, you bake a cake, then you smash said cake in a bowl and mix in some icing, forming the mixture into a bunch of little balls, covering them with icing, and putting them on sticks. It almost sounds like a perfect little craft a mom of toddlers might want to try, you know pre-emptively, the night before a planned trip to Target so they can maybe have one on standby. Or maybe, here’s a thought, skip the Starbucks altogether and maybe, instead, do a quick Dunkin’ run, and stick a straw in a Munchkin. Same thing, no?

Okay, this right here is the exact reason why my kids don’t have a ton of fun-filled memories from their childhood. For starters, I’ve never once bought a cake pop for my kids, and if they had ever asked for one, I most definitely would have offered a cheaper, quicker solution (see the aforementioned Dunkin’ idea, above). I was absolutely that mom when my kids were younger, the one who was always ready with an inexpensive solution to anything they deemed fun.

Take, for example, a trip to the movies. Did we go to the movies when they were young? Sure. Was it usually on free summer movie days? Sure. Did we sneak in store-brand-named soda and pre-microwaved popcorn in a huge diaper bag with us on those days? Duh.

Did I treat them to fast food meals when they were kids? Yes. Were they ever allowed to order a drink to go with said food? No. And absolutely no. Why would we do that when we have drinks at the house?

Why would we buy anything from the Ice Cream Man when we have ice cream in the freezer?

That was my mom logic when my kids were young. What I’m trying to say is, I never found myself in line at the cute, little in-store Target Starbucks waiting for a cake pop that may or may not be available, because the answer was always, ‘no’.

on

The number of times I’ve been in line at the adorable in-store Target Starbucks behind a younger-than-me mom with a toddler-filled cart, sadly hearing the news that they are, once again, out of cake pops, may only be about five, but it feels like a lot more. The absolute chokehold these stale, little cake treats have on Millennial offspring is unmatched.

On one occasion, I witnessed a mom throw an absolute tantrum and insist they give her the sample from the case. The display cake pop, which the sweet barista attempted to explain, had been sitting there for days and was far from edible, to which the mom angrily responded ‘why do you display it if you know you are out of them?’

A cake pop. This exchange occurred over the unavailability of a cake pop.

I’ve scrolled Pinterest, I know the secret of how cake pops are made. It’s quite simple. It involves a few steps, first, you bake a cake, then you smash said cake in a bowl and mix in some icing, forming the mixture into a bunch of little balls, covering them with icing, and putting them on sticks. It almost sounds like a perfect little craft a mom of toddlers might want to try, you know pre-emptively, the night before a planned trip to Target so they can maybe have one on standby. Or maybe, here’s a thought, skip the Starbucks altogether and maybe, instead, do a quick Dunkin’ run, and stick a straw in a Munchkin. Same thing, no?

Okay, this right here is the exact reason why my kids don’t have a ton of fun-filled memories from their childhood. For starters, I’ve never once bought a cake pop for my kids, and if they had ever asked for one, I most definitely would have offered a cheaper, quicker solution (see the aforementioned Dunkin’ idea, above). I was absolutely that mom when my kids were younger, the one who was always ready with an inexpensive solution to anything they deemed fun.

Take, for example, a trip to the movies. Did we go to the movies when they were young? Sure. Was it usually on free summer movie days? Sure. Did we sneak in store-brand-named soda and pre-microwaved popcorn in a huge diaper bag with us on those days? Duh.

Did I treat them to fast food meals when they were kids? Yes. Were they ever allowed to order a drink to go with said food? No. And absolutely no. Why would we do that when we have drinks at the house?

on

The number of times I’ve been in line at the adorable in-store Target Starbucks behind a younger-than-me mom with a toddler-filled cart, sadly hearing the news that they are, once again, out of cake pops, may only be about five, but it feels like a lot more. The absolute chokehold these stale, little cake treats have on Millennial offspring is unmatched.

On one occasion, I witnessed a mom throw an absolute tantrum and insist they give her the sample from the case. The display cake pop, which the sweet barista attempted to explain, had been sitting there for days and was far from edible, to which the mom angrily responded ‘why do you display it if you know you are out of them?’

A cake pop. This exchange occurred over the unavailability of a cake pop.

I’ve scrolled Pinterest, I know the secret of how cake pops are made. It’s quite simple. It involves a few steps, first, you bake a cake, then you smash said cake in a bowl and mix in some icing, forming the mixture into a bunch of little balls, covering them with icing, and putting them on sticks. It almost sounds like a perfect little craft a mom of toddlers might want to try, you know pre-emptively, the night before a planned trip to Target so they can maybe have one on standby. Or maybe, here’s a thought, skip the Starbucks altogether and maybe, instead, do a quick Dunkin’ run, and stick a straw in a Munchkin. Same thing, no?

Okay, this right here is the exact reason why my kids don’t have a ton of fun-filled memories from their childhood. For starters, I’ve never once bought a cake pop for my kids, and if they had ever asked for one, I most definitely would have offered a cheaper, quicker solution (see the aforementioned Dunkin’ idea, above). I was absolutely that mom when my kids were younger, the one who was always ready with an inexpensive solution to anything they deemed fun.

Take, for example, a trip to the movies. Did we go to the movies when they were young? Sure. Was it usually on free summer movie days? Sure. Did we sneak in store-brand-named soda and pre-microwaved popcorn in a huge diaper bag with us on those days? Duh.

Did I treat them to fast food meals when they were kids? Yes. Were they ever allowed to order a drink to go with said food? No. And absolutely no. Why would we do that when we have drinks at the house?

Why would we buy anything from the Ice Cream Man when we have ice cream in the freezer?

That was my mom logic when my kids were young. What I’m trying to say is, I never found myself in line at the cute, little in-store Target Starbucks waiting for a cake pop that may or may not be available, because the answer was always, ‘no’.

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