Letter to my lost self.

We were one body baby, I saw the letter you wrote to me, and my heart has never melted so softly, I knew the words you wrote were from your soul; they touched mine. I read the journal we wrote together, about all the things we said we’d achieve by age 20 by God’s grace, To ride in our cars, to have followers as influencers, to literally be bigger than we could have ever imagined, when I read the part you wrote to have ass long hair; I laughed because we cut our hair when we were 18.

How cute, I’m fond of the naïve innocent memories we shared, now when I reminisce, I start to love every day we hated, every day we beat ourselves up just to be our better version, we felt like we were the one lost cause the world kept in a cycle; like we’d wake up daily and yearly being failures over and over again because we never achieved the dreams and visions, we saw for ourselves, and that’s when you left…

This is not a letter to cry on your passing.

This letter is just to tell you, that I grew up and found out we put in a lot during our early teenage life, and I’m proud of you for holding up that long, you played the biggest part in my life, and I love every day, anyway, when I became 20 without you, I didn’t achieve anything we wept so hard for, not the hair, nor the car, nor the suitor; I think that would be the hardest part than gaining wealth and materialism, and I know you won’t get what I’m about to say cause you left so young and didn’t grow to see this perspective of life

But, I achieved eternal life; you’ll understand that in heaven, and it’s bigger than anything anyone ever gave me, fun fact, even the people who achieved our wish list before 20, don’t have this kind of peace in life.

I am going to live our dreams for us, I’ll get everything I promise, we parted in your death but I am going to live on for you, I love you, I love you so much my heart is full, and I will never forget you.

Heaven and Love,

Ese.