June 03rd 2023 - The Gentle and Misunderstood Junebug

Every June for the last almost ten years, this drawing of a junebug comes up in my Facebook memories, and every year, I say I'm going to take another whack at it.

Well, finally, I introduce Gumbo; the very gentle--yet oh so misunderstood--junebug. While these chaotic little guys may seem intoxicated, they're actually buzzing about with a purpose, maybe even the most important thing they'll ever do in their entire four-year lifespan. If you had just spent the last three years underground--eating nothing but roots and shit--and now you've only got, like, four weeks to get some fuck and pass on your genes before dying, you'd be pretty eccentric, too.

They'll eat some leaves for a bit--probably thinking, "Holy shit, this is the best thing I've ever eaten,"--but really don't cause that much damage. And even then, the damage they do cause is just stupid nonsense things that only we humans care about--like keeping our lawns nice and tidy. While we only hear about what a nuisance they are, we never think about their more important role in the ecosystem. Even if that role is only providing a great food source to other animals for a few weeks in the spring/summer.

Unfortunately, evolution was not very kind to them in the flying department, because they're clearly not very good at it. I swear, your hair isn't their designated destination, they're just so fuck-crazy that they didn't put a whole lot of time into actually learning how to fly. Their sticky legs don't give any grace in this situation, either. Really only acting to make a bad situation worse. But, just be calm, the poor bean also doesn't want to be there. They won't even bite you, just pick the little bastard out, wish him luck, and send him on his merry way.