Death is inevitable. No one can escape or avert it. You, me, and our loved ones all have to encounter it. But, the loss of someone close to you is hard, and losing someone whom you love is even harder. We become engulfed by the momentary circumstances of our lives, whether good or bad. We experience each situation at its full intensity— as if it was ultimate or would never end. The way we feel at a particular moment transformed the whole world and everything around us. If a certain moment makes me happy, the past, present, future, and the entire universe would be good for me. As if perfection could exist in this life. The same is the case, whenever we’re consumed with negative emotions. The whole world, past, present, and future would become bad for us. We could see nothing out of our zones. Nothing else matters at that time. If someone wronged us today it’s because they no longer cared for us— not because life, you, and I are all imperfect.
This year was initiated with a wave of unexpected deaths of my loved ones that devasted me to the core. Throughout this, I asked myself multiple times: Is there any way we would be informed about the demise of our loved one, earlier? Can we stop their death? If we cannot stop it, can we please just avert it? So that, we can tell them how much they matter to us. Tell them how important they’re for us, for our lives, and how much we inspire them. Why just we can’t delay their leaving us alone? I’ve so much to share with them, can’t they just stay? The answer to all these questions (that may sound stupid to some) is No, a big NO!
There is no way we can inform you about the demise of others, earlier. There is no way we can postpone it. There is no way we can stop them from leaving. There is no way we can stop this from happening. Isn’t it discriminatory then? Isn’t life unfair to us? Isn’t God doing wrong to us? No, it’s completely fair and reasonable. In this life nothing is permanent. Nothing lasts former and probably that’s what makes it breathtakingly beautiful. No one can predict what’s going to happen. The uncertainty of life is what makes us realize its worth. This life is a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. It’s a place where people are with you today and the very next moment they won’t be there. I know it is hard to believe it, but this reality of life hurts our souls, as it is something against basic human nature. We, as humans, are made to seek, love, and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what is eternal.
So, what can we do in such circumstances? The answer is straightforward. Live your life to the fullest. Do not wait for the death of a loved one to express how you feel about them. Don’t wait for them to leave you and this world to tell others how precious they’re. How much worth they’ve in your life and how impactful they’ve been for your life. Tell all these things to them when they’re alive, and not to their dead bodies or other associated people. Value people (even things) when they’re in your possession. Value them before their demise. Offer them all the affection and backing they need. Appreciate them for who they’re and how worthy they’re for us.
We must not let sadness engulf us and believe in God’s doing. Sometimes God takes to give. But, it is crucial to understand that His giving is not always in form of what we expect. He knows best. Allah mentioned; “But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not.” (Quran, 2:216)
Lastly, the answer to the question that kept echoing in mind “Why do people we love have to leave us?” is simply that this existence isn’t flawless; for if it was, what would the subsequent be named?